


Isosceles

by bitsori



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Break Up, Developing Relationship, IDK how to tag this tbh, It's Complicated!!!!, Love Triangles, M/M, POV Alternating, Post-Break Up, Pre-Poly, oh its actually a tag!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 14:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18701170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori
Summary: i·sos·ce·les/īˈsäsəˌlēz/adj.(of a triangle) having two sides of equal length.--Three love stories, or, A love story in three parts. ( AU )





	Isosceles

**Author's Note:**

> [ 1 ] First of all, I nicked my friend's [The Script writing playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/salsastarches/playlist/3o2mPEH89z8xKphwihxN4G?si=Gqc1uXdnSh-DuCfsVQlacQ) (which she’s also using to write SKZ fic!!) while I was writing this, LMAO. Hence the song selections for each part. (Thank you, **M** , for sharing the playlist for mood music, haha.)
> 
> [ 2 ] This is kinda off brand for me. I wouldn’t say this is heavy angst, but there’s definitely a heavier atmosphere to this fic than usual (most especially in the second section). I wouldn’t say it’s a sad or depressing ending, because everyone is definitely in a good place at the end, but it’s also not as outright happy as I tend to write. I guess it really depends on how you read things.
> 
> [ 3 ] Maybe one day I’ll write Seungjin where Changbin isn’t involved. (One day, I will also write non-BFF dynamic Seungjin… ha ha.) That day, obviously, isn’t today. Hope you enjoy this anyway!
> 
> [ 4 ] Oh, also, there are a lot of lame puns used in this fic and I know they won’t necessarily work in Korean but… just imagine it’s the same level of lameness translated okay!

  
  


 

——  

 _You can break everything down to chemicals_  
_But you can't explain a love like ours_  
The Script, “Science & Faith”

——

  


 

“Hi.”

Hyunjin is seated at the corner of his favorite off-campus coffee shop, in the middle of finishing a paper for his Joseon era literature class when the low, nasal (yet strangely attractive) voice cuts through his concentration.

At first he assumes it’s the barista offering him a refill, but when he looks up he finds another friendly and familiar face instead. Granted, it takes him a couple of beats before he remembers the guy’s name - _something_ Changbin. At least he recalls _how_ he knows him - he's good friends with Jisung, and Hyunjin met him once when he'd accompanied their common friend to a quaint vintage record store in Hongdae, which is, if he recalls correctly, is where this Changbin guy works at.

“Oh, hey—” he greets back, cautious, but curious and welcoming.

“So,” one corner of the Changbin person’s mouth curls up into a cheeky smirk as he continues, “Nice _mug_ you got there.”

“Huh?” Hyunjin is initially confused; he’d simply ordered a cup of brewed coffee, house brand, without any modifications so his drink had been served in a simple black mug that simply had the café's logo modestly printed on the side. There was nothing special about it at all; but then he looks up and he catches the guy making gestures towards his face, and it finally dawns on him that _it was a pick up line._ “Oh!” Suddenly he can’t help the loud laughter that escapes from him. It isn’t even that good of a pick-up line, nor is it particularly a funny line, but Hyunjin has always been easy to make laugh. The proud look that passes across the guy’s features adds to Hyunjin’s glee as well.

“Can I—?” The guy (Changbin, Hyunjin reminds himself, because he has a name, and Hyunjin knows it, so he should use it) gestures at the empty seat across him, and Hyunjin gives him a hearty and welcoming nod. “Hyunjin-ssi, right?”

He nods, suddenly feeling conscious about the way his revision materials are messily strewn across the table. “Changbin-ssi?” He clarifies as well, stacking his books and sweeping his photocopied notes over towards one side of the table. “Jisung’s friend— from the record store?”

“That’s my name,” Changbin agrees, nodding and flashing a grin at Hyunjin. “Feel free to wear it out.”

Hyunjin blinks, but this time it takes him a lot faster before he laughs again. _Smooth,_ he thinks. _Sort of._

“So, you’re actually here by yourself?” Changbin asks, his hands wrapped around his drink, which appears to look more like a fruit based, ice blended drink, instead of anything with caffeine in it. Hyunjin nods, and Changbin’s smile widens. “Well, lucky me, then!”

“Oh, how so—?”

“Because I get you all to myself!” Changbin teases, and Hyunjin feels a deep flush spread across his face; he supposes that’s the reason for the complete amusement that forms on Changbin’s features. “Although, actually—” Changbin leans forward and reaches for one of Hyunjin’s textbooks, briefly flipping through it before he glances up. “Was I interrupting? Were you busy—?”

He actually was - the paper he’s working on is due the next day, but Hyunjin finds himself drawn enough to Changbin that it makes him shake his head anyway.

“It really _is_ my lucky day, then,” Changbin reiterates, and there's something so positively charming about his smile that makes Hyunjin giggle. Clearly, this just eggs Changbin on, because he continues with, “Because I’d like to get to know you a _latte.”_

  
  
  


 

 **spearbee:** hi is this hyunjin?  
**hwanghj:** yes?  
**spearbee:** it’s changbin ㅋㅋㅋ  
**hwanghj:** oh. hi hyung!  
**spearbee:** hi  
**spearbee:** been thinking of u a latte since this afternoon  
**hwanghj:** ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
**hwanghj:** u already used that one!  
**spearbee:** bet u laughed again anyway ㅋㅋ

 

 **spearbee:** so i’ve been thinking...  
**hwanghj:** a latte? ㅋㅋ  
**spearbee:** stop using my old lines ㅋㅋ  
**spearbee:** and no  
**spearbee:** i’ve been thinking a lot about time travel  
**hwanghj:** oh do u think it’s possible?  
**spearbee:** idk u tell me  
**spearbee:** r u a time traveler?  
**spearbee:** because i see u in my future ㅋㅋㅋ

 

 

 **spearbee:** did u get home safe?  
**hwanghj:** i did, thanks for today hyung  
**hwanghj:** i had a lot of fun  
**spearbee:** no thank YOU  
**spearbee:** bc if i had a star for every time u brightened my day  
**spearbee:** then i’d have a galaxy by now  
**spearbee:** ㅋㅋㅋ  
**hwanghj:** aaaaaah hyung!! ㅠㅠ

 

 

 **spearbee:** hey when we meet later can i borrow something?  
**hwanghj:** what is it?  
**spearbee:** can i borrow a kiss?  
**spearbee:** don’t worry i’ll make sure to give it back ㅋㅋ  
**hwanghj:** hyung...  
**hwanghj:** only if you pay with interest ㅋㅋ

  
  
  


 

“So, there’s this guy—”

Hyunjin is hanging out at his best friend’s room one afternoon, spread across Seungmin’s bed, while the latter worked on some schoolwork. He’d been quietly staring at the ceiling, mulling over certain things - certain _people,_ more accurately - until the words are sliding off his tongue naturally, instead of just remaining in his head.

“Seo Changbin.” Seungmin says the name before Hyunjin can get another word in. He’s surprised, but the latter’s pointed look tells him that he probably shouldn’t be. “He’s all you’ve been talking about for like… a month now,” Seungmin adds anyway, as of to clarify the roots of his knowledge.

Hyunjin's ears feel warm as they turn red in embarrassment. “Sorry,” he tells the other, shyly ducking his head. Now that Seungmin has pointed it out, he can’t help but suddenly be painfully aware of how much he actually _has_ been talking about Changbin.

It’s been a month since that day at the cafe, and the two of them have certainly gotten to know about each other a lot. Or, rather, a _latte,_ as Changbin had lamely joked at the time. Even now, the memory of the silly pun manages to elicit a giggle from Hyunjin.

The faint sound of fingers on a keyboard (which had been constant over the last hour) finally pause, and when Hyunjin looks towards Seungmin, he's met with a strange look.

“You really like this Changbin guy?” Seungmin sounds cautious, but genuinely curious and Hyunjin doesn't need to take long before he nods as an answer. “Fine,” Seungmin sighs. “Girl talk, then,” he adds, waving his hand and turning on his swivel chair so he can face Hyunjin.

“Changbin-hyung isn't a girl—?” Hyunjin counters, confused as he sits up on the bed.

“No, but you're kinda acting like a 13-year old schoolgirl with a crush,” Seungmin points out with a playful chuckle, which is how it dawns on Hyunjin that he's being teased.

“Yah!” Laughing even though he continues to be embarrassed, Hyunjin reaches for one of Seungmin’s pillows and proceeds to throw it at his friend.

Seungmin is laughing himself as he easily catches the pillow in his arms. He hugs it to himself and then he looks at Hyunjin, eyebrows curiously arched. “So, this Seo Changbin - you like him a lot?”

Hyunjin sighs, yet another giggle escapes him as he falls back down the bed. “Yeah— he’s really funny. He makes me laugh a lot.”

“Hyunjin—” Seungmin sounds just a little exasperated, but Hyunjin lets it slide; he’s used to Seungmin being like that at times. “Everyone makes you laugh a lot. Jisung makes you laugh a lot. Felix makes you laugh a lot.” He pauses, very obviously waiting a second before throwing the pillow back at Hyunjin and then finally continuing, _“I_ make you laugh a lot.”

Hyunjin winces because he gets hit right on the face with the pillow, but he recovers quickly, slipping it under his head as he turns entirely on his side to stare at Seungmin. “It’s different. He’s so confidently and effortlessly funny— it’s kinda refreshing.”

“Okay. You’re right. Jisung makes _too_ much effort to be funny,” Seungmin interjects with a snicker.

Hyunjin laughs. “You’re too mean to Jisung. What about Felix, then?”

“Lacks confidence,” Seungmin answers immediately, and Hyunjin’s laughter grows. “But I clearly provide good balance. Case in point, you’re laughing so much now!”

He’s right because Hyunjin is an uncontrollable bundle of laughter and giggles; he’s practically rolling around the bed, which, he thinks, probably _does_ make him look like a 13-year-old school girl with a crush.

Seungmin sighs and rolls his eyes, but there’s a hint of fondness amidst his exasperation. “So, that’s it? You like him because he makes you laugh?”

“Not just that—” It’s Hyunjin’s turn to sigh as he once again sits up. “He just… he makes me feel interesting. _Seen.”_

Seungmin regards him with an expression that Hyunjin can't quite read, so he tilts his head, questioning.

“So you're saying, Changbin-ssi… has 20/20 vision,” Seungmin deadpans, and Hyunjin, once again, _laughs._ “Wow, you have such _high_ standards, Hyunjin, anyone who doesn't need prescription glasses would pass.”

“Stop, I’m serious—!” He whines; even though he knows full well that Seungmin is just teasing, the playfulness makes his feelings seem trivial.

“Right. Sorry,” Seungmin apologizes with a small smile. “I know you are. And you know I’m happy for you, Hyunjin. You deserve someone who makes you laugh— and who makes you feel like the best version of yourself.”

“Thanks Seungminnie.” This time, Hyunjin beams; he’s the type to think things over too much, but Seungmin’s words and assurances are always quick to soothe and validate him. “I really can't wait for you to meet him.”

  
  
  


 

There's more, really. A whole lot more, because Seo Changbin is a lot of things.

He isn’t perfect. He certainly has a number of flaws - Hyunjin had learned early on that Changbin can’t arrive anywhere on time to save his life; also he’d learned that Changbin could also be a little picky and fussy with food. But flaws like these seem pretty trivial, and only serve to make him human.

He is kind, and sweet, and a whole slew of other positive things that more than make up for his shortcomings. He’s encouraging, and he knows more or less how to read Hyunjin’s moods. He always remembers when Hyunjin tells him about his schedule, because Changbin always remembers to wish him luck with exams and oral presentations.

Changbin is expressive, and he never forgets to let Hyunjin know that he’s adored - and even if he mostly does it through lame puns and pick up lines, Hyunjin appreciates it anyway.

When it all boils down to it, however, Hyunjin really likes Changbin because despite his small stature, Changbin is very good at carrying himself. He knows how to capture an audience’s attention, and furthermore he knows how to keep that attention going. And yet, despite having an entire room’s focus on him, his attention is always almost solely on Hyunjin. He laughs when Hyunjin makes jokes, and he listens intently when Hyunjin needs a listening ear. He looks at Hyunjin like he holds the answer to the universe, and Hyunjin, who has always felt like he has everything to prove, revels in it because Changbin doesn’t just make him feel _seen,_ like he’d confided to Seungmin - Changbin makes him feel like he _deserves_ to be seen.

So Hyunjin falls - maybe a little bit too fast, maybe a little bit too deep, but it’s okay, because that’s another thing about Changbin: he always makes Hyunjin feel like everything’s going to be _more_ than just okay.

  
  
  


 

Hyunjin finally gets the chance to introduce Seungmin to Changbin a little over two months into their relationship, at 3RACHA’s first gig in a live club at Hongdae.

3RACHA is the little rap trio that Jisung (the entire reason why and how Hyunjin met Changbin to begin with, and he _never_ lets either of them forget it) and Changbin have recently formed. The third in the team is Changbin’s roommate, Chan, who Hyunjin has met more than a few times, mostly whenever they decide on lazy nights, and they choose to stay in at Changbin’s apartment.

Considering that, it’s definitely strange that Changbin has yet to meet Seungmin, who is both Hyunjin’s best friend _and_ roommate.To be fair, Seungmin _has_ been especially busy these last few months; both he and Hyunjin are in their last year at university and working on their respective undergraduate theses. To add to that, Seungmin not only has a lot of extracurriculars at school, but he’s also balancing all of that with interning at his father’s firm, so he hasn’t really had enough time to be social. He’s pretty sure that the reason Seungmin even created an opening in his schedule for the night is because Jisung eventually wore him down. (“He says I owe him,” Seungmin had grumbled to Hyunjin, complaining that Jisung had called in a favor that dated as far back as their freshman year; Hyunjin had just laughed, because at least it meant he finally had a chance to get his best friend and boyfriend in the same room.)

Seungmin doesn’t arrive until halfway through 3RACHA’s first song - number one out of a four piece set. Hyunjin is near the front, all hyped and jumping up and down as he mouths along lyrics that he’s memorized by heart because he’s been listening to their mixtape non-stop ever since they’d dropped it a couple of weeks ago.

“I know this song,” Seungmin suddenly comments close to Hyunjin’s ear; somehow he’d made his way to the front, right up to the latter, surprising him so much that it causes Hyunjin to let out a soft squeak.

Seungmin laughs at his reaction, but Hyunjin just happily (excitedly) slings one arm around the former’s shoulders, pulling him closer and prompting him to move along to the music just as Hyunjin had been doing.

“Where’s Felix—?” Seungmin asks, leaning closer, his breath warm against Hyunjin’s ear.

“That tickles—” Hyunjin comments, laughing as he instinctively leans away. “But Lix is— he was getting drinks with Minho-hyung but—”

Whatever it is that he was going to say is cut short because when Changbin’s verse starts, and he takes front and center on stage, Hyunjin’s attention is completely stolen. His hold around Seungmin loosens, and he ends up just standing and staring as his boyfriend spits fire and explodes with palpable charisma.

Later, after the performance is over, Hyunjin drags Seungmin along with him to the side of stage, all too eager to introduce the two most important people to him - family aside - to each other.

“You were great—!” Is the first thing he tells Changbin, who laughs and grins at him in acknowledgment; there’s a proud glint in Changbin’s eyes that is quickly replaced with something more curious and questioning when his gaze passes over Hyunjin’s companion. “Oh, and yeah—” Hyunjin’s smile grows, hand clapping Seungmin’s shoulder. “Hyung, this is Seungmin. Seungmin, Changbin-hyung.”

“Seungmin-ssi.” Despite the formal tone he adopts, Changbin’s smile is warm and friendly. “It’s great to finally meet you. Hyunjin’s told me all about _you.”_

Seungmin’s smile and overall attitude is a bit more reserved, and Hyunjin has to elbow him lightly to get him to relax. “Yeah,” he exhales softly, his tone more modest but clearly trying to be more welcoming. “Hyunjin’s talked my ears off about you.”

“Hey!” A warm flush spreads across Hyunjin’s cheeks, embarrassed at being called out like that, but it’s hard to deny the happiness he’s feeling in that moment.

  
  
  


 

 _I love you_.

It’s Changbin who says the words first, three months (almost four, depending on who is counting, and how they’re counting) into their relationship.

It happens one fine Saturday evening, when the two of them are hanging out at a local skate park. (“A date,” Changbin insists, even though the meeting isn’t pre-planned, nor occurring at a glamorous setting. “It’s you, and it’s me, so it’s automatically a date,” he presses, and Hyunjin is inclined to agree when he puts it that way.)

Hyunjin has talked about wanting to learn how to skateboard when he was younger; he’d always assumed there was no point to it now that he’s an adult - almost done with university, even, but Changbin had scoffed and told him it’s never too late to learn anything.

“Especially when you have an expert like me to teach you,” he’d ascertained, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows in a certain way that always makes Hyunjin laugh.

So here they were, having spent all late afternoon with Changbin attempting to teach Hyunjin the basics of riding a board. The lessons started out funny - it turns out that Changbin himself hasn’t really ridden a skateboard in over a year (“I’m busy being an adult!” He had joked, laughing, and Hyunjin had to point out the irony of him originally insisting that no one is ever _too old_ for anything) and so they had needed to spend the first half hour getting Changbin reacquainted with his own board. And then, it turned out, he was even worse at teaching the basics because the last time he’d learned them was when he was only 8, which is more than an entire zodiac cycle ago.

It’s not until a little past sunset when they finally manage to get Hyunjin to balance on one while steadily riding it across a straight line.

“You also have to learn how to fall,” Changbin barks at him, as Hyunjin wobbles uneasily. “So don’t be afraid to fall. You know— off the board, _or_ for me!”

His words has Hyunjin choking back laughter, and in the process, he loses his balance, completely flips off the board, and lands on his ass.

“Shit, yeah—” Changbin winces and hurries over to him. “Just like that!” He crouches in front of Hyunjin, worry and amusement mixed in his expression. “You okay—?”

Considering Changbin had also insisted that Hyunjin wear all sorts of protective gear, from a helmet to knee pads to elbow pads (even though Hyunjin had complained and said he felt like an overgrown kid), he’s pretty much unscathed. That doesn’t stop Changbin from inspecting every exposed inch of his body though; he’s so close, fussing about needlessly, but Hyunjin can’t help but smile at the attention.

“Hyung, really, I’m fine,” he insists.

Eventually, Changbin appears to be content, and he leans back on his haunches. He looks at Hyunjin with relief, and then there’s a brief moment of silence where he appears to be contemplating something in his head.

“Hyung…?” Hyunjin’s brow furrows; he’s unused to such silence from Changbin and it worries him. “I’m fine, really, you don’t have to worry— plus you did say learning how to fall is important too.”

“Yeah—” Changbin exhales, before breaking out into a small smile. “Falling’s important, too.” He pauses, takes a beat, and then he drops The Big Three, “I love you. Hyunjin, I’ve fallen for you.”

His eyes grow wide in surprise; it’s not that Hyunjin hasn’t _felt_ Changbin’s feelings. His boyfriend is one of the sweetest, most affectionate people that he’s had the pleasure of meeting, that much has been established. That much is part of the reason why Hyunjin is so enamored with him. But to actually hear Changbin say the words out loud - he hadn’t been expecting that.

“Hyung—” He mumbles; his heart beating loudly - _rapidly -_ in his chest, and he wants to tell Changbin, _I love you too,_ because he really, truly does. Except the next words out of his mouth are, “Why…? Why me?”

This time, it’s Changbin who looks taken aback; he clearly hadn’t expected _that_ reaction. “What—? What do you mean why you?”

Hyunjin cringes and looks away, further embarrassed at his own reaction. “Sorry,” he mumbles, moving to get up. Except Changbin smiles and holds him down so that they’re both crouched down on the park pavement, eye level.

“Hyunjin— you make me feel like anything is possible,” Changbin tells him; coming from anyone else, the words would have probably seemed schmaltzy, but from Changbin, to Hyunjin, they sounded nothing but sweet and genuine. “Just the fact that you ended up liking me too feels like making the impossible, possible,” Changbin adds, albeit this time using a more teasing tone. “Also, it doesn’t hurt that you’re pretty easy on the eyes—”

 _“Hyung!”_ Hyunjin half whines, half laughs. “Don’t—”

“I’m kidding, Hyunjinnie. Your face is the least interesting thing about you, which is saying a lot because it’s a really pretty face.” Changbin grins, and leans just a little bit closer. “I love you because you always put all of yourself into everything you start— and I love you because you’re sweet, and nice, and despite all the shortcuts in life that pretty face of yours offers, you never take any of them. And you laugh at all my jokes, and it makes me feel like I really made something out of myself when I’m the one who makes you laugh.”

“Oh.”

“—yeah.” Changbin ducks his head and chuckles softly; he actually looks _shy,_ and Hyunjin doesn’t think he’s ever seen _this_ side of him before.

“Hyung,” he whispers, and then before either of them can say anything else, Hyunjin closes the remaining distance between the two of them, his lips landing on Changbin’s. It’s obviously not their first kiss, but somehow it actually feels different this time. More emotional, somehow - more _dizzying._

He feels Changbin smile against his lips, and it’s contagious; Hyunjin giggles, and Changbin uses the opportunity to deepen the kiss, tongue pushing past Hyunjin’s plush lips that Changbin has confessed a hundred times (maybe more) to liking so much.

“I love you too, hyung,” Hyunjin gasps softly, as they briefly part for air. “I love you too,” he repeats, right before Changbin grins and pulls him back right in.

  
  
  


 

The thing is: even before Changbin had said the all-important three words, Hyunjin already _knew_ it about himself _._

One time, the two of them had been out on a date, when his mother had suddenly messaged him, telling him that she was taking Kkami, who has been his pet dog and proxy sibling since he was 15, on an impromptu trip to the vet.

“I’ll keep you updated,” the message had read. “But don’t worry too much, because it shouldn’t be anything serious.”

The assurance had been vague at most, and despite the instruction about not worrying too much, Hyunjin, being who he is, ended up doing the exact opposite.

It was only his fourth, maybe fifth, date with Changbin; they were still in the middle of establishing their relationship, and Hyunjin was constantly nervous and worried that Changbin will somehow realise that he can do so much better than someone like himself. With this in mind, he’d opted not to say anything about the message.

“Something’s bothering you,” Changbin observed anyway.

He had shaken his head, determined to deny not just Changbin’s accusation, but also the dreadful paranoia that’s forcefully taking over him. He’d figured if he did his best at not thinking about it, then it would ease up soon enough.

That plan didn’t work, though, and when Changbin had shot him a pointed look, Hyunjin soon easily crumbled and showed the former the message his mother had sent.

“Sorry,” he apologised sheepishly as Changbin read the words on his phone screen. “She’ll update me soon. I’m sure it’s nothing serious.”

“You don’t seem all that convinced though,” Changbin surmised.

“Hyung— no!” Hyunjin forcibly let out laughter. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’ve been told I worry too much when I shouldn’t.”

Changbin’s shoulders relaxed, and he’d then let out a soft chuckle. “A bit, sometimes, but it’s cute.” Hyunjin blushed at that, and Changbin smiled. “Plus it’s not a bad thing to be concerned. Do you know which vet clinic your mom is taking your dog?”

“Uh—” Hyunjin didn’t understand in that moment why Changbin was asking, but he nodded anyway. “We always take him to the same one.”

“Okay, come on then.”

“Hyung?”

Even at that point, Hyunjin didn’t understand why Changbin was suddenly gathering his things, and presumably it was his perplexed expression that made the latter laugh.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Changbin’s head was angled to the side, and he had gestured for Hyunjin to follow suit. “Let’s go and see how your dog is doing.”

“I— but our date?”

“We’ll make a date out of it at the vet’s clinic,” Changbin joked, laughing. “It’s not like we can’t have another day to ourselves. You always talk about that dog like you _birthed_ him yourself—”

“Hyung—!” Hyunjin ducked his head, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He couldn’t really deny any of what Changbin was saying, even if the older was most certainly teasing, so eventually he agreed and followed Changbin’s lead.

“You can trust me and my bike,” Changbin assured him, grinning and all gung ho as he’d handed Hyunjin a helmet to wear for safety.

“Isn’t this more a scooter, and less a motorbike?” Hyunjin answered, laughing easily because Changbin really did have a way of making him relax.

“I said what I said,” Changbin huffed. “My trusty steed!”

Their arrival at the clinic turned out to be very timely; the receptionist was calling out to ‘Patient Kkami!’ just as Hyunjin had rushed into the building. His mother was surprised to see him, but she’d motioned for him to hurry and follow along, leaving him absolutely no time to introduce Changbin.

“Go on—” Changbin ushered him inside anyway, smiling patiently.

“Sorry—” Hyunjin whined, shoving Changbin’s spare helmet right back into the older’s hands. “I’ll make it up to you next time, hyung!”

“Of course you will,” Changbin agreed; he sounded so calm and patient, and Hyunjin could only hope that he wasn’t misjudging the sincerity in his words. “I’ll make sure you will.”

It didn’t take long before Hyunjin was made to feel like a complete fool; the vet consultation had proved his mother correct in that Kkami’s condition was nothing _too_ serious. The problem had been his stool - it was a little too loose and soft for his mother’s liking, which was why she’d decided that a visit to an expert was necessary. The doctor had assured them that it wasn’t anything to be overly worried about, and had simply sent them home with a week’s worth of medication, and a new dietary plan that was supposed to help firm up the dog’s feces.

“I should go home more often,” Hyunjin told his mother, because despite the doctor’s placations he still felt guilty and responsible for his dog’s health. Back when he still lived at home, under his parents’ roof, he had been the one in charge of his dog’s meals. Between his schoolwork and his social life though, he hadn’t been visiting home as regularly, so he can’t help but feel that if he checked in more, this wouldn’t have happened.

“Hyunjin,” his mother had smiled at him, but there was a hint of exasperation in her tone. “Your father and I can take care of Kkami just fine. For now, maybe you want to introduce me to your friend?”

Confused, Hyunjin had followed his mother’s gaze until it settled on Changbin, who was seated in a corner of the clinic’s waiting room, laughing while playing jackstones with a young girl who couldn’t be more than seven or eight years of age. He’s surprised to find him there - he’d assumed that he’d gone on his way after Hyunjin’s quick goodbye earlier.

“Changbin-hyung…?” He’d called out softly; a part of him wasn’t sure if he wanted the older’s attention easily captured because there was something highly endearing watching him as he played with the girl, especially as the latter kept laughing and giggling and telling Changbin that he was ‘not doing it right!’

Changbin looked up as soon as he heard his name anyway, and his expression had lit up in a way that warmed Hyunjin’s heart, but also made him feel shy, if only because he knew his mother was closely paying attention. And then the older male had gotten up, and practically _bounced_ over to them; for a split second he was worried about the kind of impression he would make on his mother - but of course, he really shouldn’t have, because this is _Seo Changbin,_ and he was as personable as ever when he introduced himself.

“I just stuck around because I wanted to make sure everything was okay,” Changbin had even added after, and for some reason, something as simple as that had made Hyunjin’s heart swell.

“That’s sweet of you,” his mother answered with a curious smile. “But yes, our little Kkami here is fine - he’s just in need of a new diet.” Changbin had flashed a tentative smile at the dog then, and Hyunjin had been _very_ amused because the way he flinched as soon as Kkami lets out little yips made it obvious that Changbin wasn’t really that good with dogs.

“That’s good to hear—” Changbin grinned, looking genuinely relieved. “Well, I’ll be on my way, then,” he added, even bowing again before turning to Hyunjin.

“Wait—” Hyunjin surprised himself, because he really hadn’t planned on this; as far as he was concerned, he was going home with his mother, and his dog; for some reason, though, he couldn’t bring himself to let Changbin go that easily. “I’m— I’m coming with you, hyung,” he mumbled; his mother had lifted an questioning eyebrow but hadn’t said anything otherwise, to which he had been grateful for.

He really didn’t understand what it was, in that moment; he couldn’t explain what he was feeling - all he knew was that he wasn’t ready for the day to end yet, never mind that their so-called date had already been effectively ruined by his unnecessary paranoia.

It wasn’t until much later, when the two of them were seated on the floor of Changbin’s living room, eating food that they had delivered from Changbin’s favorite jokbal restaurant, that Hyunjin silently pieced it all together.

“Don't worry about it,” Changbin told him after he had apologised for the umpteenth time about cutting their date short. “I already told you— I know how important Kkami is to you. I wonder if he liked me though?” He’d laughed and thrown his head back, and there was something about the easy comfort of it all that made Hyunjin feel flushed. “He totally liked me, right?” Changbin continued. “Even though he was sick, he kept growling at me. Isn't that a good sign? Dogs growl at humans they like, right?”

He kept making Hyunjin laugh, and it wasn’t as if that was anything new, but that was when it clicked anyway. It was the end of a very tiring day when Hyunjin felt like he’d made all the wrong decisions, based on all the wrong emotions, but _in that moment,_ something clicked anyway, and he knew: he was falling in love.

The words had even formed at the tip of his tongue, begging to be released. But he kept them there, afraid that it was too early for any such proclamations.

Instead, when it was time to say goodbye and good night, he doesn't.

  
  
  


 

“Does he know?”

“Does who know what?”

Hyunjin is being obtuse because of course he knows _exactly_ who and what Seungmin means. It’s clear from the sharp and pointed look that his best friend throws at him, that Seungmin isn’t going to play this game.

He sighs, tearing his eyes away from his disapproving friend. It’s hard when Seungmin is being like this, but at the same time Hyunjin appreciates it. They’ve known each other for so long, and Hyunjin doesn’t think he would be the person he is now, if not for his best friend. Seungmin, out of everyone in his life, has taught him how to be more open and honest - if only because he knows that no matter what it is that he’s feeling, he will always have someone in Seungmin, who will listen and stick to his side, no matter what. “He doesn’t,” he admits. “Yet.”

Seungmin sits down next to him, not saying anything for the next couple of minutes; and then he wraps an arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders. “Do you plan on telling him?”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin nods, but his smile is strained. “Graduation is more than six months away, a lot can happen in that time.”

He’s stupid, he knows; it’s not even as if his secret is that big of a deal. For some reason though, there’s no easy way to tell his boyfriend that it’s always been planned that he would move to the Philippines after he graduates, so he can help manage his family’s business there. Every time he tries to work up the courage to share this information, he comes out of it blaming himself for starting a serious relationship when he knows an early end was always inevitable.

Sometimes he ponders the probability of the two of them being able to maintain a long-term relationship, but he always ends up conjuring scenarios that only ever lead to his relationship crashing and burning.

The thing is, though, being with Changbin makes him move out of his head, and into the real world. Being with Changbin makes him live in the _here and now,_ makes him enjoy his time with his boyfriend, makes him not think too long and hard about the future - so he doesn’t.

Beside him, Seungmin quietly sighs.

“That’s true,” he murmurs so softly that Hyunjin barely hears. “But it’s also true that time flies when you don’t want it to.”

  
  
  


 

——

 _And the only chance we have of moving on_  
_Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong_  
The Script, “Before the Worst”

——

  
  
  


 

It was during one summer that Hyunjin and Seungmin first became friends. They were 11, and Seungmin’s cousin, Jisoo, was visiting from Canada. Seungmin had been all set to go biking around the neighborhood with her one afternoon, under the scorching heat of the sun, when she had spotted Hyunjin and had instantly decided that he was Very Cute and Worth Knowing.

“Do you know him?” She’d asked Seungmin, soft, but giggly.

“Sort of,” had been young Seungmin’s answer, because he only knew Hyunjin from seeing him around. They lived in the same building and went to the same elementary school, but their apartments were on different floors, and they belonged to different classes, so they never really got to interact that much. One time, Seungmin had ran across Hyunjin at the nearby convenience store, and the latter had let him have the last bottle of almond milk after they’d both reached for it at the same time. He doesn’t really think that amounted to them being friends though, or even mildly acquainted.

“Introduce me,” Jisoo had implored, eyes wide and filled with excitement as she tugged at Seungmin’s sleeve. He’d wanted to say no, of course, but Jisoo had kept pleading with her eyes and eventually Seungmin, who only really wanted his cousin to have a nice visit in Seoul, gave in.

“Hi, you're Hyunjin, right?” He had asked, courageous and forward thanks to his cousin's support. He had approached the latter in front of their building, Jisoo following closely at his heels. Hyunjin had looked genuinely surprised that Seungmin was even _talking_ to him, but his big and bright smile after the initial confusion was pretty contagious, and Seungmin had found himself returning it with as much enthusiasm.

“And you’re Seungmin?” Hyunjin had returned.

Seungmin nodded, smiled wider, and then he’d gestured at his cousin. “And this is Jisoo. Do you want to go biking with us?”

The three of them had spent the rest of that season as an inseparable unit, and even though Jisoo’s crush on Hyunjin just fizzled out in the end without it ever really turning into anything more, he and Seungmin had remained close after she’d flown back to Canada once summer break had concluded.

Seungmin had always been a little prickly, even as a child; he was impatient, and he liked having things done in a certain way. He was friendly enough at school, and he knew how to play nice, so he managed to get along well enough with kids his own age - but at the end of the day, it was tiring having to reign himself in. Hyunjin was different - he was patient, sweet, kind, and he was _always_ ready to follow Seungmin’s lead. Seungmin felt the most like himself, the most like the _best_ version of himself, when he was with Hyunjin. In that way, it always felt like they were a good fit, so it was no surprise that by the time they were 13 and entering the same middle school, they’d pretty much upgraded to being best friends.

And so it goes: considering the start of their friendship, it’s no surprise that through the years, Seungmin has gotten used to Hyunjin getting a fuckton of admirers. Seungmin wouldn’t even bother counting the amount of times his admirers - both female _and_ male - have tried to get to Hyunjin through him, especially when they were in high school.

More than once, Hyunjin has apologised to Seungmin for being made to act as messenger boy and middle man by his admirers, but even though it admittedly got annoying fast, Seungmin could never put the blame on Hyunjin. Besides (not that he would admit this to anyone, _ever),_ it actually assured him of his place in Hyunjin’s life.

Every so often, Hyunjin would indulge one of his admirers - he’d go out with them, and allow himself to be wooed. A few times, there have been lucky ones who’d managed to briefly get their affections reciprocated, but it never mattered.

 _They_ were fleeting, and Seungmin was the constant.

Except, somehow, it seemed that Seo Changbin belonged to a category all on his own.

  
  
  


 

“You really like him, don’t you?”

The second time Seungmin asks Hyunjin this, he’s a bit more wary about what his best friend’s answer will be. The first time had been more rhetorical; even after Hyunjin had giggled and professed undeniable feelings, Seungmin hadn’t been too bothered.

“I really do,” Hyunjin answers; he’s more reserved this time - more _solemn._ There’s a certain kind of sincerity in his expression that makes Seungmin tremble. Hyunjin is _serious_ about whatever this is that he has going on with Changbin. “I— Seungmin, I really like him _a lot.”_

His lips curve into a wide, but embarrassed smile, and he looks so cute with the tinge of red on his cheeks, except Seungmin finds it hard to appreciate, as his breath hitches and he feels tiny cracks form in his heart.

“Hyunjin—” Seungmin sighs, knowing that being the voice of reason will do nothing but wipe that sweet smile off of his friend’s face. Still, he can’t help himself. “Have you discussed what’s going to happen after graduation?”

Just as he’d predicted, Hyunjin’s face completely falls. They’re both quiet for some time, and Seungmin is almost tempted to withdraw his question. Hyunjin will deal with this when he’s ready, and it really isn’t his problem, so he shouldn’t make it

“He doesn’t know yet,” Hyunjin admits quietly. “Sometimes— sometimes I think it might be better if I end things now, you know? Before either of us get in too involved.”

He sighs, and he looks more broken than Seungmin has ever seen him. He can tell that his best friend is already in too deep, and _this_ is exactly what shatters Seungmin’s heart into little pieces.

  
  
  


 

“Seungminnie, are you home?”

A week before their commencement ceremony, Hyunjin calls Seungmin, giggling through the phone line, words slurred. He’s clearly had a little too much to drink, which immediately worries Seungmin.

“I am— where are you?” He answers, already putting away the book he had been reading, and reaching for his car keys.

“Can you pick me up?” Hyunjin asks, which is exactly what Seungmin had predicted the call was about. “I’ll send you my location!”

An hour later, he’s helping Hyunjin back into their shared apartment, after having picked him up at a pub that’s close to their university. His best friend has a drunk and silly smile on, but he knows Hyunjin well enough to notice that it’s more pained than anything else.

“I thought you were with your classmates,” he murmurs while helping a wobbly Hyunjin into his bed. “You could have told me you were drinking alone. I would’ve had a few with you.”

“Mmmmmmm no—” Hyunjin giggles, crawling into bed and immediately hugging a pillow close to his chest. “I wanted to be alone for a bit!”

“Hyunjin—” Seungmin clicks his tongue, leaning in so he can help tuck his friend in under the covers. He’s about to suggest that Hyunjin go and wash up properly, but then Hyunjin sighs, and Seungmin gets distracted as he feels his warm breath, tickling against his neck.

“Seungminnie—” He sounds strained, _defeated._ “I broke up with Changbin-hyung.”

“Oh.” Seungmin is both surprised and not, at the same time. “I’m sorry.

“I’m leaving… at the end of the month so… so it’s the right and fair thing to do.”

Frowning, Seungmin sits at the edge of Hyunjin’s bed, not saying anything. He waits, and a couple of minutes later, Hyunjin is sitting up again and pressing his face against Seungmin’s arm. A beat passes, and he lets out a choked up sob. Seungmin twists around, arms immediately moving to wrap around him.

And just like that, it’s like a dam breaks inside Hyunjin; his tears flow uncontrollably as he moves into the comfort of Seungmin’s warm hug, face burrowing into the crook is his neck. Desperate sobs wrack his entire body, but Seungmin remains steady, his hold just tightening around Hyunjin, hoping that by doing at least this much, his friend is being comforted somewhat.

He isn’t sure how long they stay like that; in the morning he wakes up beside Hyunjin, who has one arm slung across Seungmin’s midsection. Even in his sleep, he’s looking restless, and it makes Seungmin’s heart ache.

He moves to untangle himself from Hyunjin’s limbs, but then the latter stirs and reinforces his hold. “Thank you for being here,” he whispers hoarsely, before Seungmin can even apologise for waking him up. “Thank you for always being here for me.”

Seungmin snorts; he appreciates the words, but they also fluster him. Feeling self-conscious, he forces out laughter. “This is my house too,” he snarks playfully. “Where else would I be?”

Hyunjin chuckles, and then he opens his eyes, puffy from an entire night’s worth of tears. He looks like an entire mess, but there’s a fond and grateful smile decorating his lips. “That’s not what I mean—!”

Seungmin sighs, unable to keep the facade of nonchalance for too long. “I know,” he says, finally returning the fond smile. “You’re my best friend, Hyunjin. Of course I’m always going to be here for you.”

  
  
  


 

A fact that's only known to Hyunjin and Seungmin: the two of them are actually each other's first kisses.

They were fifteen, and one of Seungmin’s sunbaes in the baseball team had (with Seungmin’s help) just confessed to Hyunjin, only to be politely turned down (without Seungmin’s help).

“Sorry, I hope he doesn't blame you for it,” Hyunjin told Seungmin, the worry in his eyes quite genuine.

“Don't worry, I can handle myself,” Seungmin assured him. “Besides, Yeonjun-sunbaenim isn't like that. He's a good guy— I wouldn't have let him near you otherwise. I mean— he’s a little too happy touching and patting team members’ butts after games, but—” he chuckles, attempting to joke to lighten the atmosphere, “—I guess you can chalk that up to player camaraderie.” When that actually got a laugh out of Hyunjin, it made Seungmin feel more at ease.

“Oh— well, when you put it like that, do you think I should have given him a chance?” Hyunjin had turned to Seungmin then, looking like he was ready to follow whatever advice he would give.

“Don’t be silly,” Seungmin told him, amused but gentle. “If you don’t see him that way, then you don’t see him that way.”

“Hmmm— that’s true,” Hyunjin nodded slowly, smiling and looking relieved. “Seungmin—? Can I tell you something?”

Seungmin groaned and rolled his eyes, elbowing his friend before nodding. “I don’t know why you even have to ask that!”

Hyunjin flashed him a grateful smile, but even then it took him several seconds and one deep breath before he started again. “I’m kinda… scared.”

“Scared? Of what.”

“Dating—?” Hyunjin laughed as he ducked his head, but it certainly sounded forced. He had tentatively rubbed the back of his neck, and Seungmin had to nudge him gently to urge him to continue. “Just— I’m scared I wouldn’t know what to do.”

“With what?”

“You know…” Hyunjin’s tone softened as he continued; suddenly he sounded eleven again, instead of fifteen. “Like… kissing… and other stuff.”

“O-oh.” Seungmin actually felt his cheeks warm at that. SIlence had taken over, with Seungmin not really knowing how to respond, and beside him, Hyunjin had fidgeted, but Seungmin wasn’t sure if it was out of unease or if it was because he had more to say.

“Seungmin—” His name came out almost like a quiet exhale, but nevertheless he’d heard it, and he’d looked up immediately, eyes meeting Hyunjin’s. “Will you kiss me?”

Seungmin blinked rapidly as he almost choked on his own spit. “What?!”

“You haven’t had your first kiss either, right?” Hyunjin asked shyly as he averted his gaze.

“Well— no.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

Seungmin’s cheeks had definitely grown hotter, and he was sure that he probably looked like an overgrown ripe tomato at that point. “I— I guess,” he’d tentatively admitted. “I guess I am?”

“It wouldn’t be so bad if you were my first kiss,” Hyunjin quietly admitted; he had said it so softly that Seungmin, initially, wasn’t even sure that he had heard correctly. When Seungmin had been unable to respond immediately, Hyunjin got flustered; he’d let out a nervous chuckle and he had fiddled with a stray thread at the hem of his school uniform. “I mean— like—” He’d stammered, “—unless you— You know. Unless you don’t want me to be yours. I mean— I understand… of course you’d want your first kiss to be someone you like, and—”

It was endearing, really, but Seungmin didn’t really give himself enough time to appreciate the moment. In the next second, he’d leaned in, nervous, but determined. “Hyunjin—” He had whispered, his voice just as soft and quiet; his breath hitched, and then his lips was on his best friend’s.

They both had frozen immediately, both of them unsure what to do next. But then, Hyunjin had relaxed, and his soft, pillowy lips had parted against Seungmin’s. He had taken that as encouragement, and Seungmin had angled his head a little to the side, his mouth slotting perfectly against Hyunjin’s as they both shyly deepened the kiss.

It was pure, and chaste, and overall it couldn’t have lasted longer than a few seconds, but Seungmin still remembers - his first kiss had tasted a lot like the orange soda that Hyunjin had been drinking, and it had been perfect.

  
  
  


 

Seungmin comes up with an idea that he thinks just might be a little too crazy. He almost chickens out of bringing it up, too, but the day they both graduate is such a happy and accomplished day that he channels all the high he’s feeling and turns it all into courage.

“Hey, what do you say I come with you to the Philippines?” He asks, much to Hyunjin’s shock. “Just for a week or so,” he quickly clarifies. “So I can help you settle in.”

Unlike the rest of their peers who were throwing themselves into the adult world, all set to start entry level jobs as early as the following week, Seungmin has opted to get a post-graduate degree instead.

“I have an entire month off from school,” he points out. “I can afford to— I mean, if you’ll have me.” He _is_ still working part-time at his father’s firm, but considering he’s spent all of his winter break toiling away there, he knows his father will let him have a bit of time off, especially if he frames it as a personal celebration for having earned a degree (and with honors, to boot).

“Seungmin— I don’t know why you even have to ask. Yes please, come with me!” Hyunjin laughs, loud, free, and genuinely pleased - Seungmin hasn’t heard him laugh like this in over a week, and he beams, knowing that he’s the cause of Hyunjin’s current happiness.

  
  
  


 

The plan was to help Hyunjin settle in; except Seungmin learns that the apartment that his parents had chosen for Hyunjin is already fully furnished when they get there. Even the kitchen is completely functioning, with the pantry fully stocked, and it makes Seungmin laugh because it’s not as if Hyunjin is particularly skilled in the culinary department. When they lived together, eight meals out of ten were usually ordered in, and one of the remaining two was more often than not skipped because of other commitments.

“They said this is their graduation gift,” Hyunjin sheepishly explains to Seungmin, and it dawns on him that Hyunjin has always been aware that they weren’t going to arrive to an empty or bare minimum unit.

It makes him feel self-conscious, because truthfully, Seungmin had imagined picking out minimalist furniture, going shopping for supplies with his friend, and other activities to that effect. He’s embarrassed that he’d let the domestic fantasy cloud his thinking — to be fair, though, he and Hyunjin had done all these things together when they’d first chosen to room together at the start of their third year in university.

“I guess I… can help you literally unpack,” He’d commented with a light chuckle. “And arrange your clothes in your wardrobe, maybe. If it was up to you, you’d probably put your socks in with your underwear or something.”

Hyunjin snorts, and soon his laughter fills the room. He’s really going to miss that laugh, Seungmin thinks, and even as he makes a show of rolling his eyes, he can’t help the easy smile that curves on his mouth.

“I don’t understand what’s so wrong about doing that,” Hyunjin shakes his head. “Either way— you really don’t have to do anything, Seungmin. I wanted you here because… I guess I just wanted to have some last bit of fun with my best friend before we truly start being adults.” He lowers his head and silently fiddles with his phone, before holding it towards Seungmin, screen face forward.

Seungmin gives him a strange look, but then he leans in and he realises that he’s looking at two purchased domestic flight tickets. “What—?”

“Well, when you said you wanted to come along for a week, I looked up what we can do,” Hyunjin explains. “I booked us flight tickets and accomodations for 3 days and 2 nights.” He seems shy and a little unsure, and Seungmin understands that this is because Hyunjin has never really needed to plan anything on his own like this before. Not when he always had Seungmin who _loved_ to plan things down to the very minutest detail.

“You covered everything, huh?” Seungmin asks, cajoling, as he takes Hyunjin’s phone and scrolls through the screen to check the details of their trip. “Flight’s tomorrow morning?”

Hyunjin croaks out some more laughter as he nods. “The entire time I was arranging things, I kept thinking— ‘What Would Kim Seungmin Do?’”

Seungmin’s gaze snaps right back up at Hyunjin. “Yah—!” He tries to sound scolding, but he ends up laughing; Hyunjin is being endearing, and in that moment, Seungmin doesn’t really have it in him to pretend that he’s feeling anything but joy and absolute affection for his best friend.

  
  
  


 

They go to an island somewhere south of the country.

“Oh, this beach is ranked #4 on the list of the Most Beautiful Beaches of the World,” Seungmin comments when they’re on the plane, en route to their destination, because of course, despite Hyunjin’s assurances that he’d taken care of everything, he still felt the need to check the details himself.

“Seungmin,” Hyunjin says, laughing as he tries to snatch his phone away from him. “Of course it is. Have a little faith in me! Please?” He pouts, makes puppy dog eyes, and Seungmin can only sigh, unable to resist his best friend.

“Fine,” he mumbles, huffing and then closing his eyes. “Just wake me up when we get there, then.”

And perhaps he should have known that he could trust Hyunjin all along, because it turns out that Hyunjin managed to prepare and arrange a quite decent trip. The hotel he’d chosen for them is barely a five minute walk away from the beach, and considering that this is pretty much a trip planned at the last minute, Hyunjin still managed to book them a room with an acceptable view.

The itinerary that Hyunjin came up with is a little too compact for Seungmin’s liking; if it was his own, he’d have allowed more room for relaxation and stress relief, but he knows his best friend well enough that this was done on purpose. Like Hyunjin already pointed out, this was something of a last hurrah for the two of them, so it only made sense that he had crammed as many activities as he can, if only so that he can create as many unique memories as he can for the two of them. When Seungmin thinks of it like this, he can't really bring himself to fault Hyunjin for anything. So he allows himself to be dragged along from one bulleted activity to another, and their first two days end up filled with activities like scuba diving and island hopping tours. Also, food - lots and lots of food, that at one point Seungmin had to ask if Hyunjin was trying to make him overweight as part of a harebrained scheme to get him to stay.

“That doesn't make sense!” Hyunjin points out, even as he practically cries with laughter. “But if it works like that, I’d gladly take it,” he adds, and Seungmin finds himself blushing at the implication.

Overall, however, Seungmin has to admit that for a hastily planned trip, Hyunjin has done quite well.

“It's been fun,” he tells Hyunjin; it's their last night at the beach, which is why they're finally just relaxing at one of the many open bars that littered the beach, delicious fruity cocktails in hand.

“Don't sound too surprised! WWKSMD has been a good guidepost to vacation planning— WWKSMD has been a good guidepost to _life.”_

Seungmin groans, even though Hyunjin’s words actually make him feel proud. At the same time, they _do_ also render him somewhat wistful, because his friend’s growth feels like a small, independent step away from their friendship. It isn’t, really, but in that moment it seems that he has enough alcohol in his system, that he has a hard time being completely rational.

“Guess it’s appropriate,” he murmurs. “You’ve grown up well, Hyunjin-ah!” He laughs, and in his tipsy state, he’s actually bold enough to reach out and caress the back of his Hyunjin’s head. “I can leave you here, knowing you’ll survive just fine without me!”

“Of course I can,” Hyunjin agrees; the way he’s tripping on some of his words show that he isn’t completely sober either. “But I wish I didn’t have to. I wish we could stay here forever.”

Seungmin’s entire face feels warm, and he can only stare down at his half empty drink, wondering if Hyunjin really just said what he said. “You don’t really, truly wish that,” he denies, even though secretly he’s only saying it so that Hyunjin can argue, and insist he does. “Real life is waiting for both of us.”

“Well—” Hyunjin sighs. “I wish we could at least stay for a few more days. A few more weeks?” He laughs, except it isn’t the usual kind of heart laughter that erupts from him. “I can’t believe we aren’t even going to be operating in the same time zone a few days from now.”

“Hyunjin, we’re only going to be an hour apart,” Seungmin points out, with a pained chuckle. “It’s not like we’re going to live on opposite ends of the world!”

“You know what I mean—!”

Seungmin sighs, and then he takes his time downing the rest of his drink, even motioning at the bartender to bring him another one, before he speaks again, “...Yeah, I’m going to miss you too.”

The bartender brings them a new round of drinks, and both of them are quiet for a while. Seungmin is usually fine with silence, but for once it makes him a tad uncomfortable. Or rather, it makes him feel impatient - he wonders if he should start another conversation, but then Hyunjin beats him to it.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Hm—?” He pauses, and then he lets out a chortle as he thinks of something. “Hyunjin, if this is just another quip about me wearing rubber shoes while on the beach—”

Hyunjin actually _laughs_ at that, so even though Seungmin knows he’s just opened himself to more teasing about something really dumb, he can’t help but smile with satisfaction.

“You were my first love.”

And then Hyunjin says these words, and Seungmin almost chokes on his drink.

“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asks, calm even as he reaches over to rub Seungmin’s back. He’s smiling simply, like he hadn’t just dropped a fully loaded bomb on Seungmin’s lap - on Seungmin’s _heart._ “Don’t worry, I’m talking about a long time ago— it’s not as if I’m carrying a torch for you or anything.”

And then Hyunjin retracts his hand and lowers his head; his cheeks are red, but Seungmin can’t be sure if that’s from what he’s saying, or if it’s a side effect of the alcohol. Seungmin’s stomach is turning, and he’s scared he’s going to end up vomiting all over Hyunjin if he says anything more. Yet he’s unable to say anything to stop his friend, and he just sits there, frozen and looking blankly at his drink, which, somehow, a tipsy Hyunjin interprets as reason to keep going.

“Remember when we were sixteen— wait, fifteen?” He pauses to giggle at his own uncertainty. “That time when I asked you to kiss me— I was so nervous because I’ve had a crush on you for at least two years by then. And then we kissed, and I kinda really almost told you on the spot that I loved you— which is silly, because we were kids!”

Seungmin knits his brows, and he makes a soft whiny noise. He wants Hyunjin to stop and continue at the same time, which makes him dizzy. He’s never been this unsure of his own thoughts before. “Hyunjin—” He starts, but his companion just keeps smiling.

“Sorry, sorry— I know it’s useless to be coming out with this now. But, I guess,  back then, I was scared because you were the one person I was scared of ever losing, so I didn’t say anything. But I feel like we’re in a really good place now, and you deserve to know how important you’ve always been to me. You’ve always helped me out when I needed help— when I need someone to listen, you listen to me. When I need encouragement, you give it to me, but you never sugarcoat things. You always know exactly what to tell me, even at my lowest moments— remember back in high school when I missed that penalty kick which pretty much cost our school our ticket to the finals, and you just sat with me while I cried, but that was actually made me feel better. Just the fact that you were _there._ Thank you for everything, Seungmin—” He pauses, and then he laughs some more, nervous but sweet. “I’m rambling now, why aren’t you stopping me?!” He whines, shaking Seungmin’s arm as if he’s an embarrassed, overgrown child.

“I—” Seungmin softens and just shakes his head. “I was supposed to?!” His heart is beating so fast now, pounding so loudly and thundering in his chest. His own feelings, pent up from so many years of secret pining, are threatening to explode, except—

“I guess not,” Hyunjin says, pulling his hands away so he can start to fiddle with his own fingers. “I’m only telling you these things now, I guess, because it feels right— We’re all grown up now, and we’re both going to have to live our lives apart. And I have to get used to that, but I want to thank you for everything, anyway.”

 _Right,_ Seungmin thinks, his heart sinking into his stomach as he lets it settle that the only reason Hyunjin is even telling him this is because there’s no way anything will come out of this - not when he’s set to fly back home to Seoul the day after tomorrow. For a brief second, he holds his breath, secretly wishing, _waiting,_ for Hyunjin to implore him to stay. It’s an impossible ask - and Seungmin knows he would never be able to say yes anyway. But still, he isn’t above wishing he’d at least hear the question asked.

It never comes, of course, and eventually Seungmin manages to gather enough composure to curve his mouth into a smile. “Don’t sell yourself short, Hyunjin,” he murmurs. “You were always there for me, too. You were also always the person I couldn’t handle being without— so thank you, too. Moving apart doesn’t have to mean growing apart, too.”

“See—” Hyunjin grins, and before Seungmin knows it, his best friend is happily leaning in and giving him a tight hug. “You always really do know what to say.”

  
  
  


 

They’re back in Hyunjin’s apartment, the one that’s nestled deep in the business district of the capital. It’s been roughly twenty four hours since Hyunjin’s ‘confession,’ and neither of them have really brought it up since.

Seungmin wonders if things should be feeling awkward - _he’s_ feeling awkward, but Hyunjin is acting like he always is. Cheerful and sweet, and every so often, he’d teasingly remind Seungmin that he’s sad because Seungmin’s flight is 10AM the next day.

Hyunjin had also insisted that he take Seungmin to the airport in the morning, even though Seungmin thinks it’s a waste of time and energy - he’s come to learn in the last several days that Manila traffic is plain awful, but he can’t bring himself to say no to Hyunjin on that front.

Actually he can’t bring himself to say no to anything Hyunjin has had to offer; all day he’s been going through the motions, laughing when Hyunjin does, and simply nodding whenever Hyunjin is talking about something or other. The truth is that, despite everything, Seungmin’s thoughts have stayed revolving around the night before.

_You were my first love._

He wonders what he’s supposed to do with that knowledge? He can’t stop thinking about it. Even after they turn off all the lights, and Hyunjin has retreated to his room, the words continue to run through Seungmin’s mind. He’s ran at least a hundred different scenarios in his mind of how the previous night could have ended differently.

_You were my first love, too._

He could have returned the confession, and maybe things would have been simpler. Or maybe not, because the actual truth is really more,

_I love you, even now._

He tosses and turns, unable to sleep. It doesn’t help that he’s just camped out in the living room, on a pull out sofa be. To be fair, Hyunjin had offered to share his bed - he said he knew how picky Seungmin was with his sleeping arrangements after all. He said no, of course, because he doubted he could sleep right next to Hyunjin anyway.

Seungmin sighs to himself, because it’s looking more and more like sleep isn’t to be had. When he forces his eyes shut, the first words that come to mind are,

_What have you got to lose?_

He opens his eyes again, and he stares at the dark ceiling; the answer, he realises, is _nothing._ He has absolutely nothing to lose; distance is going to separate him and Hyunjin anyway, so if there was ever a time to act on his feelings, this is it.

Two minutes later, he’s crossed the distance from the living room to Hyunjin’s bedroom; he’s about to knock when the door swings open, and he finds himself face to face with Hyunjin. He almost scoffs, because the moment feels like something straight out of a dramatic movie, but then Hyunjin smiles at him, and says,

“Hi.”

There’s a pause, and he allows himself to laugh. Hyunjin looks confused, but also amused, and Seungmin thinks that he’s really going to miss his best friend because he _loves_ him. He loves Hyunjin, and it doesn’t really matter if he’s _in_ love, because their connection is always going to be more than that.

He opens his mouth to say something to that effect, but he finds that he’s at a loss for words. So, uncharacteristically, he does the next thing that comes to mind - he pulls Hyunjin in towards him, and this time when their lips meet, Hyunjin tastes less like orange soda, and more like the spearmint flavored mouthwash that Seungmin knows he gargles before sleeping.

There’s a moment when Hyunjin hesitates, and Seungmin almost pulls away completely, scared. But then Hyunjin is fisting at Seungmin’s shirt, pulling him into the room with him, their mouths never leaving each other’s until they both topple on the bed, Seungmin on top of Hyunjin. They pull away, and Hyunjin laughs breathlessly when their eyes meet.

 _Nothing to lose,_ Seungmin reminds himself, right before he leans down to capture Hyunjin’s lips with his own once again.

  
  
  


 

——

 _I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room_  
_Can anybody help me with these exit wounds_  
The Script, “Exit Wounds”

——

  
  
  


 

The first time that Changbin sees Seungmin at a 3RACHA gig A.HJ (After Hyunjin), it definitely feels a little weird. Mostly because he gets a little too excited when his eyes pass over Seungmin in the crowd, and the first thought that enters his head is, _Is Hyunjin here too?_

Mildly frantic (and just a little bit too hopeful), his eyes had quickly scoured the crowd only to be disappointed when he doesn’t spot the face he wants to see. He stumbles on his lyrics, which earns him a castigating look from Chan. He quickly manages to recover from his mistake, anyway - he might be an amateur rapper for now, but he’s an amateur who belongs to a group that’s aiming to make it big, and you can bet that Changbin is going to have the attitude of a professional because of this.

It’s been around two months since his break-up with Hyunjin, and just a little less than that since they’d had contact with each other. By ‘break-up,’ Changbin really means since he’s been dumped, and by ‘contact,’ he really means since he’d last liked one of his Hyunjin’s instagram posts by accident. (He’s learned his lesson, and has since resolved to only peruse his ex boyfriend’s instagram feed while logged out of his own account.)

 

“Hyunjin really did a number on you,” Jisung once retorted, after Changbin had shared lyric suggestions to a melody that Chan had come up with.

“Give him a break, Jisung,” Chan had immediately berated the youngest, before turning to Changbin. “This is pretty good,” he said, nodding approvingly while skimming through the words written in Changbin’s own chicken scratch penmanship. Chan had given him a smile that made him wonder if their de facto leader actually meant his praise, or if he just found Changbin and his broken heart pitiful, so he threw him a bone.

“Just saying,” Jisung said, clicking his tongue. “It was funnier when Hyunjin was inspiring songs like WOW instead.”

“Jisung!” Chan hissed, but the quip actually had Changbin cracking up.

“Fuck off,” he’d barked at the younger, even flipping his middle finger up for effect, but there was a small smile that graced his lips anyway. In a lot of ways, he had appreciated that Jisung wasn’t tiptoeing around him and his feelings like they were broken glass.

“Hey Jisung, what’s Seungmin doing here?” He asks his friend now, after they get off the stage.

“What do you mean? Is he not allowed to?” Jisung looks genuinely confused at the inquiry. It makes Changbin wince because he’s forgotten that Jisung is actually good friends with Hyunjin’s best friend - that they were all in a little group of their own, having gone to university together. “I invited him,” Jisung continues. “I’m always trying to get him to go to our gigs, but he always has some excuse not to go. Sometimes I think he just enjoys turning me down far too much— but sometimes, he likes being able to say he did me a favor, which is why I think he’s here now.”

They all end up at a 24/7 noraebang place close by; ‘they’ meaning a little group made up of 3RACHA themselves, and a few of their so-called ‘loyal fans.’ This is pretty par for course during most of their gig nights - if it’s not at a noraebang, they usually end up at drinking stalls, or other nearby pubs. Jisung is the most sociable out of the three of them, so it isn’t really a surprise that most of their ‘loyal fans’ are originally his friends. Hyunjin used to be a part of this group, but this little get-together has happened enough times, that by the time he’d left, Changbin and Chan have both formed their own relationships and rapport with the other guys - like Felix and Minho - that Changbin has mostly forgotten that there had been a time when they were more Hyunjin’s friends than his.

Seungmin, however, is different. For one, he was always less ‘Jisung’s friend’ and more ‘Hyunjin’s Best Friend.’ He was that guy that Hyunjin always talked about - the one he grew up with, and the one he lived with. Hyunjin had even admitted to Changbin that once upon a time, he had harboured a hopeless crush on Seungmin. All things considered, Changbin should have probably felt a little jealousy at that, but he’d chosen to fixate on the fact that Hyunjin had felt comfortable enough to be honest about it, and so instead, the confession, more than anything else, had rendered Changbin curious about Seungmin. Alas, it was a curiosity that had never been quite fulfilled - he was always too busy to attend most of 3RACHA’s gigs with Hyunjin, always too preoccupied with more important engagements to be around during the few times Changbin hung out at the apartment he shared with Hyunjin. Whatever time Changbin had been able to spend with Seungmin (mostly consisting of quick hellos, or brief meals) were few and far in between.

And so, even now, even though he knows that objectively is as much a friend of Jisung’s - just as much a friend of Felix’s and Minho’s even - in Changbin’s mind, he still fully belonged to Hyunjin.

Maybe this is why he’s uncharacteristically quiet, even as the rest of the group causes a ruckus. The queued songs grow in number quickly, and alcohol flows freely, but Changbin stays quiet in a corner, seemingly lost in thought while watching his friends.

And then Jisung shoves the microphone into Seungmin's hands, and Changbin finds himself curiously perking up. The title and artist name flashes on screen - Beenzino’s _Break_ \- and he's pleasantly surprised.

“I like this song,” he announces, and without much fanfare, Minho hands him the spare microphone.

Seungmin casts a quick, surprised glance at him, but he doesn’t say anything even after Changbin responds with a small, cheeky grin. Then the song starts, and both of them begin to spit the lines that appear on screen; Seungmin stumbles through a few words, which has Jisung and Felix loudly cheering him on. Changbin, amused, stops and gestures for him to continue on his own, grinning as a form of personal encouragement. He _does_ rejoin once the second verse begins, and by the time the song ends, an almost perfect 99 flashes on screen. Changbin lets out a loud, celebratory whoop, while Seungmin sports a big, bright, puppylike smile that Changbin thinks is kinda cute.

He moves in to high-five the taller male, but Seungmin instinctively leans away out of surprise; the latter realises Changbin’s intentions a second too late, so even when he tries to return the high-five, they both just end up engaging in an awkward looking palm pass.

  
  
  


 

He runs into Seungmin again, not even a week later, at a convenience store near his apartment. He’s paying for a six-pack of energy drinks and a pack of cigarettes when someone speaks to him from behind.

“Isn’t that bad for your throat?” When Changbin turns, he finds Seungmin standing there, carrying a small basket filled with various items. “Bad for your lungs, mostly,” Seungmin continues, “but isn’t that just as bad for someone who is aiming to become a professional singer? Rapper— whatever. Whichever.”

Just then, the cashier finishes ringing up his purchase and Changbin is momentarily sidetracked as he pays. When he steps aside after his transaction is done, Seungmin steps forward and starts unloading his basket onto the counter.

“Pretty sure every other person you see on Show Me The Money smokes,” Changbin retorts; he makes sure to use that as an example, because he remembers that Hyunjin used to talk about religiously watching that show with his best friend. “Every other singer, rapper, and idol, probably.” He doesn’t have the statistics, but he’s sure that a massive chunk of the South Korean population is made up of smokers.

Seungmin wrinkles his nose. “That show is ridiculous!” He declares, which earns him a snort from Changbin who knows better about his attachment to it. Once, he’d been over when the show had come on, and both Hyunjin and Seungmin were totally engrossed. Seungmin seems to sense the hint of judgment from Changbin, and he huffs defensively. “I mean— they always have some nice songs come out of it, I guess— but the contestants always take themselves way too seriously!”

Changbin gives him a look that says _Sure, if you say so._ Seungmin rolls his eyes and quickly finishes paying, and gathers everything he bought, shooting Changbin a brief withering glare before walking past him, and towards the exit.

“I don’t actually smoke,” Changbin admits, laughing as he quickly follows at Seungmin’s heels.

“What’s _that_ about then?” Seungmin lets out a disapproving whine while gesturing at the plastic bag that Changbin is carrying. “You think pretending to smoke makes you look cool?”

Changbin can't help but laugh at Seungmin's silly assumption. The cigarettes are Chan’s, but for some reason, Changbin doesn’t feel inclined to disclose that yet. “Yes, exactly, that's it,” he says in a humoring tone, nodding and smiling as he finally falls into step beside Seungmin. “Makes me look cool.”

Seungmin shoots him a judgmental look, which makes Changbin snicker with further amusement.

“If you have to use dumb props like cigarettes to make yourself look cool, then—” Seungmin follows with a few more words, grumbled under his breath, so inaudible that Changbin catches none of it. He thinks he hears a _Hyunjin_ somewhere there, but he tries not to dwell on it.

“Why are you so affected by my quest to appear cool?”

“I’m not—!” Seungmin huffs. “Hyunjin always said you made it effortless— being cool. He was obviously out of his mind.”

And there it is, an outright mention of Hyunjin. Changbin's breath hitches, and it's dumb, because _of course_ he was bound to come up sooner or later - in fact, maybe, subconsciously, this is why he'd been trying his damnedest to strike up conversation with Seungmin.

“He says that, huh?” A bittersweet smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “Well, he was always the type to see the best in people.”

Seungmin gives him an incredulous look, and for a few seconds, the taller male makes it obvious that he doesn't know how to react to Changbin’s, so the latter gives him a casual, shoulder shrug.

“I— yeah,” Seungmin finally says, sighing and averting his gaze. “Hyunjin’s that kind of person.”

“So… how's he doing?” Changbin tries to sound casual, but mayhaps this is actually the question he's been wanting to ask Seungmin since he first saw him again, just a few days ago.

“Uh— good? Working hard, I guess. He's busy most of the time.”

“That's nice to hear…”

“Yeah.”

They both trail off into awkward silence; the truth is that by sticking to Seungmin, he'd actually walked opposite the direction of good own apartment. He's reminded of this as he looks around, and it dawns on him that he has no idea what Seungmin is doing in the area when the apartment he used to live in with Hyunjin was in a district that's located at least half an hour away.

“Hey, were you visiting someone nearby, or—?” he finds himself asking, partly to break the ice, but also because he's genuinely curious

“No?” Seungmin seems confused by the wording of the question. “I live nearby.”

Changbin’s eyes widen in surprise. “Since when?!”

“Uh…” Seungmin winces, and Changbin realises that he might be overstepping. It's not like he and Seungmin have a personal relationship; to him Changbin is just his best friend’s ex-boyfriend.

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly, chuckling and sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “It's just— I was surprised. Your last apartment was pretty nice and cosy.”

“Uh, yeah,” he doesn't exactly accept or acknowledge Changbin’s apology but he's at least still talking. “It was also pretty costly to rent by myself, so here I am.”

Changbin thinks rent in the area is still pretty costly, but he also knows that the district where Hyunjin and Seungmin used to live in is also twice as affluent. Everything's relative, after all.

“Welcome to the neighborhood, then!” Changbin volunteers with a grin. When Seungmin actually returns it with a small, even if somewhat tense, smile, he feels proud. Seungmin also nods, and Changbin jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “My place is that way actually, but I guess I'll be seeing you around.”

“Uh—” Seungmin just nods again. “Yeah, I guess.”

Changbin waves, and starts to turn on his heel, but before he can move more than a few feet away, he finds himself turning back so he can call out,

“The cigarettes aren't mine, by the way!” Seungmin gives him a frazzled look, and Changbin laughs. “They're my roommate’s! Hope that earns me a few points on the coolness scale— you know, for being a cool, generous roommate.”

Seungmin's expression transforms; one second he's perplexed, and then he actually lets out a soft chortle.

“Whatever, Changbin-ssi,” he says, eyes rolling but still looking mildly amused. “See _you_ around.”

  
  
  


 

When he comes across Seungmin for the third time in less than two weeks, Changbin starts to think that maybe the universe is trying to tell him something.

This time around, it’s at a cafe; he’s just finished his shift at the record store, and he was supposed to meet up with Jisung, who had cancelled on him at the last minute. Something about a Minho emergency - Changbin opted not to pry. He’s long ago learned that it’s best not to, especially when it came to Jisung and anything to do with his romantic life. He and Minho have a strange sort of understanding that only the two of them are really privy to, and if Jisung wanted Changbin in on things, he’d overshare anyway.

So there he is, ordering his favorite fruit smoothie, when he catches sight of Seungmin’s familiar figure, huddled by himself in a corner of the store. He tries to make eye contact but Seungmin seems to be focused on the laptop that’s open in front of him, and this, Changbin assumes, is why he hasn’t noticed his presence - or at least he hopes this is why, because the alternative would just be Seungmin ignoring him on purpose.

By the time that Changbin has collected his drink, he glances towards Seungmin again, and is surprised to find that the other male is in the middle of packing his things up.

“Seungmin-ssi!” He greets upon approach. “You’re on your way out already?”

The way Seungmin’s eyes widen in surprise only serve to strengthen Changbin’s assumption that the former hadn’t spotted him. _But it’s okay,_ he thinks, because he’s a small guy, and the cafe is starting to get more crowded as it gets closer to its peak hours.

“Changbin-ssi, hey,” Seungmin nods slowly as he returns the greeting. “I didn’t see you come in.”

Changbin’s waves a hand dismissively. “It’s okay,” he assures the other male while fighting the urge to add, _there are a_ _latte_ _of people here right now._ He isn’t sure if Seungmin is the type to appreciate such silly puns, though, so he bites his tongue. “Have you had dinner yet?”

“Uh—” Seungmin looks uncertain about how to answer. “I… was about to, actually.”

“Cool.” Changbin flashes a broad grin; truthfully, his original plan had been to get a drink, and then head straight home where he’d probably end up eating whatever leftovers he finds in the fridge for dinner. But then again, he’s always been pretty flexible when it came to plans. “Mind if I tag along?”

“Why—?” Seungmin looks absolutely baffled as to why Changbin would even suggest what he did, and Changbin almost takes the question back. But he’s Seo Changbin, and he’s nothing if not charmingly persistent. (Or so he’s been told.)

“Well, why not—?”

“I—” Seungmin knits his brows, and again, Changbin almost rescinds the self-invite. “Well, I guess?” But then Seungmin shrugs and grudgingly agrees, and Changbin figures at least he was given the chance to turn Changbin down and he didn’t. “I’m not the boss of you,” Seungmin mumbles, which has Changbin arching an eyebrow at him.

“Well, what were you thinking of having for dinner?” He asks, falling into step next to Seungmin as the latter gets up, and heads to the exit of the cafe.

“I don't know?” Seungmin winces, before repeating in a more even tone, “I don't know.”

“You never struck me as the type to be indecisive,” Changbin casually comments.

“Well I’m not,” Seungmin huffs, and for some reason a small part of Changbin gets off on getting a rise out of him.

“So what do you feel like having for dinner then?” Changbin presses, mentally taking note of the way Seungmin’s lips purse.

“I don't know,” Seungmin repeats, this time through gritted teeth. In the background, a handful of employees bid them a cheery ‘ _Come again soon!’_ and the sound of wind chimes ring as they push the exit door open.

“Want me to make a suggestion?” Changbin offers. “I know this area pretty well.”

Seungmin stops right at the edge of the sidewalk and he turns to look at Changbin. “If say yes, and you take me to a place where I hate the food, are you going to take responsibility and pay?”

Changbin is a bit taken aback by the sudden aggression in Seungmin's tone, but he quickly recovers from it. “There wouldn't be a need for me to, I promise,” he assures Seungmin with a laugh. “So tell me— how do you feel about burgers?”

The place that Changbin has in mind is a small burger joint that makes their patties from scratch. They have a small selection, and a house special that changes every other day, but he assures Seungmin that it's worth eating at despite the lack of options.

“I took Hyunjin there a couple of times, and he always enjoyed himself,” he says, and maybe it should be weird, talking about Hyunjin so casually with Hyunjin's best friend as if he hadn't completely broken Changbin's heart just a couple of months ago.

“Well, Hyunjin’s taste can be questionable at times,” Seungmin responds pointedly.

Changbin can’t help but laugh despite the obvious shade. “Are you trying to imply something Seungmin-ssi? I don’t think we’re at that level yet where you’re allowed to talk smack about me—” Seungmin’s ears turn red at that, but Changbin can’t really tell if it’s because he’s annoyed or embarrassed; it just makes Changbin laugh some more.

“Well— I didn’t cite examples,” Seungmin points out finally. “But, hey, if the shoe fits.”

Changbin completely cracks up at that, despite the joke obviously being at his expense - the truth is that he’s enjoying the fact that Seungmin is so quick to banter.

When their food finally arrives (a bulgogi burger for Changbin, and a four-cheese burger for Seungmin), Changbin watches closely for his companion’s reaction. Seungmin, for his part, shoots him a haughty glare before caving in and taking a bite off his burger.

“Well—?” He asks, a couple of minutes later, because Seungmin is still slowly chewing on his food, quite obvious as he stalls on having to actually give his opinion on the food.

Seungmin whines softly, and reaches for a paper napkin which he uses to wipe his mouth with. “It’s good,” he grumbles, to which Changbin reacts with absolute excitement.

“Told you so!” He says, grinning; Seungmin just sighs, looking partly defeated, but as he takes another massive bite off his sandwich, it becomes pretty obvious that he’s enjoying himself. “Heh,” Changbin grunts, quite pleased with himself. He digs into his food as well, and after a minute, because he doesn’t really enjoy silence while eating, he asks, “So— you know why hamburgers go to the gym?”

“Huh?” Seungmin shoots him an incredulous look, that Changbin thinks he needs to get patented soon, if he hasn’t already.

“I said— do you know why hamburgers go to the gym?”

“Uh, what? Why?” Seungmin asks, pausing from chewing so he can take a sip of the tall soda he’d also ordered.

“Because,” Changbin starts, using that casual but cocksure tone  he always uses when he’s cracking jokes, “they want to get better buns!”

Seungmin still has his lips wrapped around his straw, but the moment Changbin delivers the punch line, his eyes bug out and he starts coughing uncontrollably. “Fuck—” he mutters, in between coughing, and what Changbin thinks he can decipher as… _chortling._

“Shit— I’m sorry!” He says, sliding off his seat and moving around so he can help rub Seungmin’s back. “Shit—” he repeats, because he can’t help but also laugh a little at Seungmin’s reaction. He’s pretty sure his joke got a positive reaction, just that it had come at a bad timing. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he keeps repeating, partly for laughing, his hand still going up and down Seungmin’s back.

“I’m fine—” Seungmin wheezes, a little red in the face as he pushes Changbin’s hand away. He takes a deep breath, lets out a couple more coughs, and then Changbin hands him a glass of water to help himself with before he returns to his seat across Seungmin.

“Sorry,” he says again, but there’s a hint of a smirk curving on his lips. “But you totally were about to laugh weren’t you?”

“That was a really lame pun,” Seungmin tells him; he’s glaring, but it’s too late - Changbin now knows that contrary to his first impression of him, he’s actually totally into lame puns. “Can’t believe I almost died because of a lame pun.”

“Sure, but at least now you can say that this meal has been… _un-four-cheddar-ble!”_

And then Seungmin is once again sputtering laughter, and Changbin, also once again, can’t help but be proud of himself.

  
  
  


 

 **spearbee:** kim seungmin?  
**cherrymin:** yes?  
**cherrymin:** who is  this?  
**spearbee:** oh, it’s changbin  
**spearbee:** hi  
**cherrymin:** oh.  
**cherrymin:** how did u get my kkt?  
**spearbee:** jisung  
**cherrymin:** right. figures.  
**cherrymin:** did u need anything?  
**spearbee:** uh listen this might be a bit weird i guess  
**cherrymin:** ?????  
**spearbee:** well i kind of found a bunch of hyunjin’s things  
**spearbee:** some stuff he left at my apartment?  
**spearbee:** some of these are kinda valuable i guess  
**spearbee:** like there’s a gaming console in here  
**cherrymin:** oh  
**cherrymin:** and?  
**spearbee:** well i thought maybe u could pass it on to him?  
**spearbee:** or his family, idk  
**spearbee:** or whenever he visits korea again  
**cherrymin:** oh right  
**cherrymin:** i’ll ask him what he thinks but  
**cherrymin:** uh, i guess i wouldn’t mind holding them for him in the meantime  
**spearbee:** oh cool  
**spearbee:** u wanna meet up?  
**spearbee:** or i can just drop em off at ur apartment whenever u’re home  
**cherrymin:** yea sure  
**cherrymin:** any time this weekend is good  
**spearbee:** ok!! ㅋㅋ  
**spearbee:** u’re cherry-fic ㅋㅋㅋ  
**cherrymin:** ...  
**cherrymin:** u didn’t just..  
**spearbee:** oh but i did just ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
**spearbee:** don’t pretend u didn’t crack a smile at that  
**spearbee:** i’m sure it cherry-ed u up a little! ㅋㅋ  
**cherrymin:** .  
**cherrymin:** ...  
**cherrymin:** u’re un-bee-lievable 🙄

  
  
  


 

The truth is Changbin has always saved that box filled with Hyunjin’s things. Maybe it’s pathetic, but he always figured that maybe he can use it as an excuse to ring up his ex again. It was always a sort of insurance plan, just in case he hears about Hyunjin being back in town, and he’s still single. Maybe. _Sort of._

It’s not like Changbin has planned on being hung up on Hyunjin forever, but he liked the idea of having an excuse on hand, if ever he wanted or _needed_ to contact him.

It’s a little bit pathetic, he knows.

(“That’s pathetic,” Minho actually _did_ tell him once, when he and Jisung were over, under the guise of playing games with Chan. They’d brought all of Changbin’s favorite food though, so he knows it was their meager attempt to cheer him up. He’d flipped Minho off anyway, even after Jisung had clarified, in a hushed tone, “That’s just his way of telling you that you deserve to move on, hyung.”)

He doesn’t know why he’s wasting this chance now; hopefully it means that he’s ready to truly move on, because it’s not as if he’s having fun being in love with someone who’s already left him behind.

“Hi,” he greets, a small smile dancing on his lips when the door swings open and he’s met face to face with Seungmin. He’d already messaged Seungmin when he had arrived, allowing the latter to buzz him into the building so his appearance isn’t really a surprise.

Seungmin’s gaze easily falls on the open box that Changbin is carrying in his arms. “Those are Hyunjin’s things?”

Changbin nods; inside the box are things like a couple of worn out t-shirts and a few other knick knacks that he highly doubts Hyunjin will miss, but he’d thrown in anyway. Granted, Hyunjin’s old, favorite hoodie is in there too, along with his old Nintendo 3DS.

“Thanks,” Seungmin tells him as he reaches over to take the box from Changbin.

“Yeah, thanks too,” Changbin returns. And then they just stand there, at the threshold of Seungmin’s apartment, awkwardly eyeing each other, both of them clearly waiting for the other to volunteer the next move.

“You want to come inside?” Seungmin asks, sighing when he finally caves in first.

The apartment, Changbin observes, is smaller and much more modest than that one Seungmin used to share with Hyunjin. Much of the design and furniture choices are similar, though, and he realises that this is probably because this is Seungmin’s personal aesthetic.

“Nice place,” he comments cordially.

“Thanks.” Seungmin has simply placed the box containing Hyunjin’s things at the foot of the small couch, and now he’s just standing in the middle of the living room-slash-receiving area, eyeing Changbin like he clearly doesn’t know what to do with him. “Do you want something to drink? Eat?”

“Do you have anything?”

“Not really—”

“I’ll have water, then.”

Several minutes later, they end up sitting  across each other at the small dining table that’s been placed halfway between the living room and the kitchen. Changbin has been served a glass of water, and between them is an open pack of cookies that Changbin thinks he remembers from Seungmin’s trip to the convenience store just around a week ago.

“So— how’s Hyunjin?” Changbin finally asks, after he reaches for a lone piece of cookie.

It takes Seungmin a beat, before he manages to answer. “He’s good,” he says with a shrug. “He constantly worries about running his family’s business to the ground, but—”

“But that’s just Hyunjin being Hyunjin,” Changbin finishes for him. “I take it he’s actually doing pretty well?”

“Yeah, mostly, exactly.”

There’s another pregnant pause, and both of them quietly chew on cookies. Changbin really wants to ask if Hyunjin has managed to meet anyone special in the Philippines, or if he’s at least dating, but he realises that he isn’t sure if he actually wants to know the answer to that.

“Did you tell him that I’m coming over to return his things today?” He asks instead.

“Oh—” Seungmin winces. “Didn’t really tell  him.” Changbin’s face must have visibly fallen at that, because Seungmin’s brow knits at the sight of his expression, and then he hurriedly averts his gaze. “It’s just—” He sighs. “I mean he kinda still gets… _sad_ when you’re brought up.”

“I get brought up?”

Seungmin rolls his eyes, and manages a soft chuckle. “That’s really your takeaway from what I just said?”

Changbin grunts, his own laughter bittersweet. “Just surprised that there’d be reason for my name to come up when you two talk.”

“Well I mentioned it to him when I attended that 3RACHA gig last week— Or was that two weeks ago? But… yeah, not much else after that.”

Changbin nods; that much makes sense, he supposes.

“So— Hyunjin gets sad, huh?”

Seungmin groans. “What do you want me to say, Changbin-ssi? He liked you a lot—” He pauses, jaw clenching. “He loved you. Of course he gets sad when he remembers you’re not together anymore.”

Changbin can easily, and very bitterly, bring up the fact that it’s Hyunjin’s own doing that they’re not together. All things considered, Changbin’s the one who was dumped and had his heart torn into pieces, so Hyunjin pretty much brought this onto himself.

But he doesn’t, because that’s not what he wants, and that’s not how he feels.

“So— you have this talk with all of Hyunjin’s exes?” He says instead in an attempt to make the atmosphere feel more lighthearted.

To his surprise, Seungmin actually laughs.

“Wouldn’t have been able to assure them the same way about Hyunjin’s feelings though,” he says simply, and Changbin is rendered momentarily speechless at the implication of his words.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well—” Changbin sighs. “I don’t want him to be sad.”

“You and me both, Changbin-ssi.”

“We should drop honorifics,” Changbin suggests. “Just call me hyung— doesn’t this conversation feel personal enough to warrant more casual speech?”

“Ah— I guess.” Seungmin nods curtly. “I’ll try.”

“Good—” Changbin grins, and Seungmin actually returns it with a smile.

(He stays, surprisingly, for at least an hour more. Changbin consciously steers the conversation away from Hyunjin by cracking a few silly jokes, Seungmin shooting each down, one after the another.

“You’re a hard nut to crack,” Changbin concedes with a groan at one point.

“You wanna know why?” Seungmin shoots back.

“Why—?”

“Because nut-a-thing is cracking—” Seungmin deadpans, and it’s so silly, even worse than most puns Changbin himself comes up with, but Changbin starts laughing uncontrollably anyway.)

  
  
  


 

The next time that 3RACHA is able to book a live gig, Changbin himself messages Seungmin with an invitation. “I know Jisung’s probably invited you already,” he says, “but let me make an attempt to. I promise it’ll be fun!”

When his message gets marked as read without so much as a response, his disappointment makes him contemplate adding lame puns, just to get some sort of reaction from Seungmin. Ultimately, though, he decides against it - apparently, they didn’t get along quite as well as Changbin had thought they did based on their last meeting, and he doesn’t want to be a nuisance to the younger male any more than he already has been.

A week later though, thirty minutes before he gets off work, he checks his phone and is surprised to find that he has a message notification from Seungmin.

“Are you free?” The preview shows, and when he clicks on it to expand the message, the rest of it reads, “I need to unwind and… well, if you’re free, do you want to get dinner?”

He had told Chan that he’d be home early that night and that he’d be free to work on some songs together, but he doesn’t hesitate in typing his response to Seungmin anyway, “Are you letting me pick the restaurant again?”

Seungmin doesn’t answer in the affirmative, but he does tell Changbin to send him the address of his workplace so he can pick him up in no less than half an hour. The curtness of the response actually has Changbin chuckling; he can easily tell that Seungmin is the type who is used to getting his way all the time, and it’s amusing because now it makes perfect sense as to why Hyunjin is his best friend.

Seungmin seems to be in quite a mood when he comes for Changbin - maybe he should have expected that, since the former _did_ extend his invite with the caveat that he needs to destress.

“So where are you taking me?” He asks as he slides into the passenger seat of Seungmin’s car, calm and without a hint of teasing in his tone for once.

Seungmin shrugs, and doesn’t really say anything else as he drives them through the city. It makes Changbin sigh, but he stays silent, and just relaxes in his seat, simply looking out the window until Seungmin slows to a stop, and he squeaks in surprise when he realises that they’re in a very familiar part of the city.

“Ah— you like it here?” He glances at Seungmin; they’re parked across the street from a small, family owned restaurant that’s one of Changbin’s favorite places to eat at, or order delivery from. For some reason, however, he’d thought that Seungmin would have more highbrow taste when it comes to restaurants, and food in general. He thinks he really should stop assuming so much about the other. “I used to take Hyunjin here a lot,” he offers gently.

“Oh.” Seungmin blinks, as if some kind of realisation has just dawned on him. “He took me here a few times. Their galbijjim is really good.”

“He did, huh?” Changbin chuckles. “Well, he discovered this place thanks to me.” He chooses not to add that this is where he’d bought Hyunjin on their second date, and that he used to work part time as a delivery boy for the family that owns the place, back when he still attended university.

Seungmin huffs. “Whatever. They have great comfort food.”

Despite the cold silence between them that lasted throughout their earlier drive, the way most of the staff warmly greet Changbin as they enter the restaurant seems to help ease Seungmin. It doesn’t take much long after they’re served side dishes, before Seungmin completely explodes.

“I’m so tired,” he says, and Changbin clearly hears this emotion in his voice. “You’d think that graduate students would be more responsible, but I’m stuck with group mates even worse than any I’ve had to work with during my undergrad.”

And then he just keeps going - he complains about not being able to understand why his professor even thinks its a good idea to assign group papers and projects when they’re all adults with their own lives, and he shares his gripes about how some of the new hires at his father’s company have “nuts for brains,” and how he ends up taking the brunt of the work when he’s supposed to only be moonlighting there, and focusing completely on his higher education. He grumbles, and moans, and criticizes both school _and_ work in between shoving food down his mouth (and that’s another surprise, really, how well he actually eats), and Changbin simply… _listens._

“Ugh, I’m sorry,” Seungmin says, once it looks like he realises that he’s been going on for a while already. The food that’s set in front of them is already half-finished, and his apology only serves to make Changbin laugh. “Wait— what’s so funny?” Seungmin visibly tenses up and shoots Changbin a glare - he’s obviously quite teed up and feeling on guard.

“Calm down, Seungmin, I’m not laughing at any of your gripes,” Changbin assures him. “You’re a little on the edge, though.”

Seungmin sighs. “Sorry. But— thank you, I guess. For listening.” He purses his lips, and then he mumbles, “Hyunjin was right when he said that you’re a good listener.”

Changbin arches an eyebrow. “Well— Hyunjin also always said that you’re the smartest, and most diligent person that he knows, so you’ll work it all out, I’m sure.”

“Thanks.” Seungmin looks down and chuckles softly as he pushes rice around his bowl. “I guess Hyunjin thought pretty highly of us both.”

“He thinks highly of most people,” Changbin agrees, unable to keep a fond smile from curving on his lips. Hyunjin’s positivity when it came to other people has always been one of his most endearing traits. “But— anyway, like I said, you still seem a bit tense? And if— if you want to unwind some more, there’s a 24/7 noraebang close by here. My friend’s a night attendant there, and if she’s at the front desk, I bet we can get a discount.”

His friend, unfortunately, isn’t there, but they take a room for two hours anyway. They order a bucket of ice cold beer, and Changbin lets Seungmin sing a handful of songs on his own at once, before he finally adds to the song queue with his own picks. For most of them, Seungmin joins him anyway, and by the time their two hours are up, their throats - Seungmin’s, especially - are hoarse, and on their faces are silly, matching smiles.

Seungmin has also finally stopped looking like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, so Changbin feels like he’s actually done something right.

“Ummm— I don’t think I can drive like this,” Seungmin complains, just leaning against the side of his car instead of opening the door to the driver’s side. They had around three bottles of beer each, which isn’t really enough to get Changbin remotely buzzed, especially not after he’s just had a fulfilling dinner, but Seungmin’s reddened cheeks remind him that not everyone has the same tolerance level.

“Come on,” he says, gently pulling Seungmin away from the car. “Let’s take a walk around the block, and if you’re still not completely sober. I’ll take your keys and drive your car.”

Seungmin inhales deeply, but he nods in agreement. Quietly, the two of them fall into step as they begin their stroll down the sidewalk.

“Sorry I couldn’t make the last 3RACHA gig,” he murmurs after a minute of silence.

“S’ok. You always turn Jisung down, so I figured my invitation wouldn’t have made much difference anyway.”

“Still. I could’ve said no properly,” Seungmin mumbles. “And then, tonight, you easily said yes to _my_ request without question— and you listened to me whine and bitch and moan about things you can’t possibly do anything about.”

Changbin shrugs, but admittedly there’s something that’s been niggling at the back of his head. “So… why me?”

“What do you m—?” Before Seungmin can even finish though, Changbin shoots him a pointed look, and he cuts himself off with a sigh. “I don’t know. I guess… you’re kinda okay company.”

Changbin tries to hold back from making any kind of triumphant noises, and in the process he ends up squeaking instead. “And— what about your other friends?”

Seungmin actually _laughs._ “He’s my friend, but times like this, Jisung just gives me more stress,” he explains, which makes Changbin laugh as well. “And Felix is too nice— sometimes the affection he gives when he worries gets to be a tad too much that it borders suffocating.”

Changbin snorts. “I don’t know if that explanation makes me your first choice or last resort.”

“Take it however you want to,” Seungmin says, rolling his eyes. “But— I just want to say thank you again. For tonight. I feel better, now.”

“Hmmm.” Changbin hums; they take an about-face turn at the corner and start heading back the direction they’d come from, towards where Seungmin has his car parked. “You know, I always had this impression that you didn’t really like me much.” And he realises how true this is as the words leave his lips; Seungmin was always making excuses whenever Hyunjin proposed they all spend time together, and while Hyunjin used to consistently assure that this was because Seungmin is A Very Busy Man, Changbin isn’t an idiot. Maybe that’s part of why he’s been a little too eager to form a kind of connection with Seungmin.

“Well—” Seungmin chuckles. “You weren’t too far off the mark,” he admits.

“Huh—?” Changbin gawks at him. “What did I ever do to you?!”

“I— Well. I guess that’s because I didn’t really know you that well before,” Seungmin grumbles.  “And— it was kinda annoying how much Hyunjin used to talk about you.”

There’s a mild hint of bitterness mixed in with something more wistful in his tone that isn’t lost on Changbin, but it also feels like something too dangerous to touch upon right now so he actively chooses to ignore it.

“And now…?” He asks, focusing on the first half of Seungmin’s explanation.

“Now?” Seungmin groans, and shakes his head. He seems annoyed, but then he turns to look at Changbin, and even with illumination only provided by streetlights, he notices the way his gaze softens. “Now, I guess— I guess now I know you aren’t so bad.”

  
  
  


 

They see a whole lot more of each other after that night. They form a routine at first - Fridays, Seungmin would message Changbin, always first inquiring if he’s free, even after it soon becomes apparent that Changbin has been saving Friday nights for Seungmin. (He even starts commuting to work on Fridays, instead of taking his scooter, because he knows Seungmin will drive him home anyway.)

Their nights always begin with dinner; they take turns picking, depending on what they’re craving in the moment, but more often than not, they end up at that same family-owned diner. (“Comfort food really is their specialty,” Seungmin insists, and after a few weeks, the staff are as warm and cordial with him as they are with Changbin.)

Usually, they head to noraebang after, singing songs to destress for at least an hour - sometimes they have alcohol, sometimes they don’t. Once or twice, however, Changbin takes Seungmin to a gaming arcade where they shoot at fake zombies and race each other on virtual cars. (“Makes me feel like a teenager again,” he explains to Seungmin, a little too excitedly, his adrenaline still pumped after he beats a sulky Seungmin in two out of three rounds of Street Fighter.)

There’s also that one time when Seungmin tells Changbin that he has a movie that he’s been dying to see, and they end up catching the midnight showing of some foreign language hipster film that has Changbin falling asleep not even halfway through it, much to Seungmin’s complete chagrin. (He’d stormed out of the theater as the credits began to roll, and for a few seconds, Changbin was almost convinced that Seungmin was going to leave him behind without a ride home.)

“You’re going out with Seungmin again?” Chan asks once, and while he doesn’t say much more than that, Changbin can certainly feel the confusion lying beneath the words.

He doesn’t know how to address it though, so he just nods to confirm. The truth is that he doesn’t know why he likes spending so much time with his ex-boyfriend’s best friend, but he really, truly does. They’re getting along well, and they’re having fun, and he tells himself that’s all that’s important.

(He tells himself - _convinces himself -_ that Seungmin’s companionship has nothing to do with how he doesn’t feel as strange now when navigating Hyunjin’s social media. He doesn’t care about logging out of his own account anymore, before perusing through Hyunjin’s posts - if Hyunjin posts something particularly cute, he confidently presses ‘like,’ and when Hyunjin posts captions that are particularly compelling, he doesn’t shy away from leaving comments.

It’s not as if he and Hyunjin have started directly messaging each other, but at least he’s stopped feeling like he has no right to know about what Hyunjin is up to.

If he and Seungmin also talk less and less about Hyunjin in the process, he tells himself that doesn’t mean much either.)

  
  
  


 

They’re both completely sober when they first kiss.

Changbin wishes he could say otherwise, because it’s always so easy to blame transgressions on alcohol, but unfortunately for him, this isn’t the case.

They’re in Seungmin’s car, one late night. They’re parked across the street from Changbin’s apartment because Seungmin is supposed to be dropping him off, but for some reason, Changbin has yet to get out of the car and say goodbye.

Overall, it’s been a fun night - Seungmin has turned in his last paper for the term just earlier that day, and Changbin had happily celebrated with him. He even offered to pay for a round of drinks, but Seungmin had declined, saying that he was going home to his parents that weekend, and he’d rather not be hungover when he meets them, so Changbin had acquiesced to a dry evening. Instead, they had three full hours at a noraebang, singing duet after duet - from high-belting ballads, to screamo metal that involved having Changbin rap yelling into the microphone. Changbin is really tired, but he’s also feeling really good, and from the looks of it, so is Seungmin.

“I’m going to do something,” Changbin announces.

Seungmin looks at him questioningly, and without further preamble, Changbin leans in; he reaches up, hand resting against the back of Seungmin’s neck so he can pull him closer in order to meet him halfway until their lips finally meet.

He half expects Seungmin to react violently, to push him away and scream at him, but that’s not what happens. In fact, Seungmin doesn’t even flinch - his lips are soft and pliant against Changbin’s, parting and shifting against them as if he’s been expecting and _waiting_ for this kiss to happen for a while already.

The implications of this makes Changbin’s heart thump loudly, but he tries his best not to think too much and focus on Seungmin instead. His free hand moves to rest on Seungmin’s knee, and soon the kiss is deepening further, teeth and tongue clashing with Seungmin clutching onto Changbin’s shirt, until finally they both pull away for air.

Their eyes meet, and it’s obvious that they both have a lot to unpack and talk about, but all that slides off Changbin’s tongue is,

“Chan-hyung isn’t home tonight.”

“Oh,” Seungmin whispers; his face is flushed and his eyes are glossy.

Neither of them say much else as Seungmin turns the car engine off, and he follows Changbin out the car, and up the apartment building.

  
  
  


 

“What are we doing?”

The question doesn’t come until much, much later. _Weeks_ later. It comes at quite an inopportune moment too, with Changbin straddling Seungmin on his small couch at the latter’s apartment, hands already tugging at the hem of Seungmin’s shirt in an attempt to take it off.

“The same thing we’ve been doing for most of the last couple of weeks?” Changbin offers, a sly grin dancing on his lips; he does pause and take his hands away though. He’s been expecting this conversation for just as long, so he shouldn’t be surprised now that Seungmin’s finally chosen to bring it up. Still, he thinks he shouldn’t be blamed at his frustration over the timing. He’s a nice guy, but he sure as hell isn’t a saint.

“Changbin… Hyung—” Seungmin sighs and leans away; his brow is knitted, and Changbin confirms that this conversation really is gonna be _that_ conversation, so he rolls off of Seungmin’s lap.

“Well—” Changbin fixes his own shirt, and runs his fingers through his hair. “What would _you_  say we’ve been doing?”

Seungmin closes his eyes, and briefly sports a pained expression; when he opens them again, he just looks uncertain.

“Hyunjin is coming home to visit three weeks from now.”

It’s been a while since either of them have brought that name up around each other, and really, by now, Changbin shouldn’t have as much of a visceral reaction to just the _mention_ of Hyunjin, as he still apparently does.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“How long is he staying for?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“I see.”

The two of them sit there silently, with Changbin unsure how to go on with the conversation. He steals a glance at Seungmin, and he realises that the latter looks just about the same as how he feels - confused, anxious, _nervous_ over something neither of them can probably explain properly if asked.

He presumes that Seungmin hasn’t told Hyunjin anything about them, even now. What bothers Changbin though, is that he isn’t sure he wants Seungmin to actually tell Hyunjin anything.

“We should stop meeting,” Seungmin whispers, his voice so soft, yet so broken. “This was always a bad idea. Being friends… being— _more.”_

Changbin has to admit, hearing that, while unsurprising coming from Seungmin, hurts.

“Why—?” He asks, even though he’s pretty sure he already knows what Seungmin’s reasoning would be. _Shit,_ he thinks, because it’s slowly dawning on him how well he’s really gotten to know Seungmin over the last several months.

“Because Hyunjin is my best friend,” Seungmin says, trying to make it sound as simple as he can. “Hyunjin is my best friend,” he repeats, “and it feels wrong.”

“Why?” Changbin presses, because he knows while that’s definitely a part of it, it’s not the entire picture.

“Because,” Seungmin whispers. “He still loves you.”

Changbin’s heart actually clenches at that - that isn’t the answer he’d been expecting or looking for.

“Seungminnie—” he starts.

“And you still love him,” Seungmin interrupts him. He winces, as if unable to believe the words coming from his own mouth.

“That’s not it though, is it?” He can’t deny the truth in Seungmin’s statement, but it still isn’t the full picture. Changbin turns, his gaze dark and solemn; his stomach is turning - maybe he shouldn’t keep pushing the issue, but he figures they’ve both skirted around it for as long as they already have. “Hyunjin has always been more than a best friend to you, hasn’t he?”

Seungmin looks like he’s been punched in the gut, and suddenly, there’s silence - tense, awkward silence that Changbin doesn’t really know what to do with, so he simply waits.

Finally, Seungmin lets out a tired and strangled exhale. “I guess you can say, more than anything else, I relate to you on this— that more than anyone else, I—” his voice has gotten smaller and smaller to the point that he’s barely audible, “—understand how it feels to be in love with Hwang Hyunjin.”

 _And there it is,_ Changbin thinks. He wonders if he should feel more hurt or angry, because he doesn’t. More than anything else, he strangely feels some kind of relief to have that information out in the open, known to both of them.

“We’re a sad pair, aren’t we?” Changbin mutters, chuckling in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. “But—” He turns, and gives Seungmin a tiny smile. “That aside, I really like you, you know.”

Seungmin stares at him, with an expression close to disbelief. “I—” He snorts and shakes his head; there’s a bittersweet smile curved on his lips now. “I really like you too, hyung,” he says, and the way he says it makes it sound like he’s surprised at how much he truly means his words. “But we both know— this is still a very bad idea. That it always has been.”

Changbin exhales loudly, once again unable to contradict the truth. “What now, then?”

Seungmin shrugs. “Like I said— we should stop doing this.”

“That’s it?” Changbin furrows his brow. “We don’t even get to be friends?”

“Maybe… not right now?” To his credit, Seungmin looks as frustrated as Changbin feels.

“That sucks.”

“I know.” Seungmin pauses and bites the inside of his cheek. “But maybe one day. Soon. _Hopefully.”_

“Would be nice,” Changbin mutters, resigned.

“Would be,” Seungmin agrees. He moves his hand, hesitating for a second before he reaches for Changbin’s with it. “But really, hyung, it’s also been very nice, whatever this has been.”

  
  
  


 

——

 _But I still don't know where to start, still finding my way_  
_Still talk about you like it was yesterday_  
The Script, “Long Gone and Moved On”

——

  
  
  


 

Changbin has no idea what he should be feeling when, a month later, at yet another 3RACHA gig, he runs into Seungmin and Hyunjin together.

This live is extra special, because, he, Jisung and Chan are launching their new mixtape, and he supposes that’s why both Hyunjin and Seungmin are there - to lend Jisung their full support.

Secretly, he thinks maybe part of that support is for him, too. He hopes, anyway.

He should have expected their presence to begin with; Hyunjin had posted on Instagram as soon as he’d arrived. “Touchdown, SK,” was his caption on a picture that featured his view from inside the airplane, presumably right after it had landed. Changbin had not only liked the post, but he’d left a cordial “Welcome back,” comment as well.

So yeah— he really shouldn’t be surprised that they’re at the event, but he is, anyway. What’s funny is that while it should feel a hundred percent weird, it doesn’t at all.

So he grins and waves at them as soon as he sees them, bright and genuine, and Hyunjin, who had (of course) been looking quite nervous, visibly relaxes, right before he practically throws himself onto Changbin with a hug.

“Binnie-hyung!”

Yeah, it really, totally, _definitely_ should feel weirder than it does. Even when Changbin catches a whiff of Hyunjin, and he thinks _wow, he still smells the same_ \- like fresh soap, and natural downy - he still feels eerily calm.

He _has_ missed Hyunjin though, _so damn much,_ so he lifts his arms to return the hug. It’s nice and warm, but when they pull apart, his eyes immediately meets Seungmin’s, because the latter is standing just a few feet away behind Hyunjin, watching them with an unreadable expression.

“Hey, hyung,” Seungmin greets, his expression relaxing as he breaks out into that bright puppy smile that Changbin thinks he’s missed as well.

“Hey, Seungminnie,” Changbin returns, and Hyunjin just watches them, looking surprised but quite pleased at how comfortably they’re talking to each other. It amuses Changbin, because Hyunjin’s confused expression has always been all too endearing. “Well,” he continues, figuring that if Hyunjin wants an explanation, they can give it to him later, “see you guys later. We’re due on stage soon.”

“Oh, right!” Hyunjin nods, his expression back to being bright and encouraging. “Good luck on stage!”

“Thanks, Hyunjinnie.”

“Break a leg,” Seungmin tells him.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Changbin squawks playfully, and Seungmin just laughs. “Let’s all hang out later,” he quickly adds, right before turning so he can start walking away.

“Definitely!” Hyunjin says a little too eagerly, even nodding in agreement.

“Sure,” Seungmin echoes, sounding bored and disaffected - but Changbin knows him well enough by now to know better, and sure enough, when he glances over his shoulder one last time before disappearing backstage, he catches that familiar way he knows the corners of Seungmin’s lips curve whenever he’s amused.

 _It really should be weird,_ he thinks again, but it really isn’t. Maybe because it seems possible that they can all truly become friends now.

Or maybe— they can even be more.

He supposes only time can tell.

  
  
  


 

**∴**

**Author's Note:**

> [ 5 ] As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Also, if you want to ask questions, or talk anonymously (about SKZ or this fic, or about SKZ fic!), feel free to head over to my [CC](http://curiouscat.me/yiminho)! ♥
> 
> [ 6 ] I just want to say, that while this is titled 'Isosceles' which kinda implies that there's a side that isn't equal in length, the end is meant to be hopeful and imply that there's a chance for the triangle to eventually be equilateral. LMAO THIS SOUNDS SO NERDY BUT ANYWAY. 
> 
> [ 7 ] Thank you for getting to the end, I hope you enjoyed this... for what it is, hah.


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